6 months!

Can you believe this little lady is 6mo old?  It certainly doesn't feel like 6 months have gone by, especially now that we're not sleep deprived!  It's incredible how quickly the time goes.  You'd think by my 3rd kid I'd be pretty well versed in how quickly they change, but it still amazes me to see the differences even just a few days can bring.  Miss Amelia's personality is blossoming.  She is the absolute sweetest little lady I've ever met (I will, however, admit that I know very very few baby girls...).  She has this smile that she does.. she squishes up her whole face, sticks her tongue out and gives the biggest smile.. she greets me with it every time I go and get her from nap or bedtime.  It's impossible not to melt when you see this!  Though she doesn't look it in the pictures, she's still quite a little peanut... weighing in around 14.5lbs.  I think my boys weighed that at their 6 week check up!  I had her in a 0-3 month outfit the other day and it still fit.  So much for all those 9mo clothes I bought her for the spring!!  No worries, I have 80 different pairs of babylegs (as seen in this picture!!) that she can rock daily once temperatures aren't so frigid.  Her hair is a totally different story.  There's pretty much no containing it.. permanent "bad hair day" for her.  The back is full of cowlicks (ps, that's the proper spelling! totally not what I would have guessed, but googled corrected me!).  The cowlicks are like dandelions, they just sprout up everywhere and spread.  Her bangs are always in her eyes, but I refuse to cut them.  I hated bangs as a child, so I'd really like to try and just let them grow out now.. so, that means in the interim bows and headbands have to help keep the hair out of her face.  She's still nursing fantastically, which is a huge huge huge accomplishment for me, too.  Check off that 6mo goal!! 1 year, here we come!  We did introduce some solids and as you can tell, she's quite the fan.  She's not a huge fan of BLW and much prefers pureed foods instead, but she's just learning and I'm looking forward to exploring more foods and textures with her.  She's smart as a whip, though!  My girl knows what the high chair means.. and if you put her in there and don't start feeding her within seconds, she let's you know she is not patient!  I have the cutest video of Owen feeding her.. Amelia kept spitting it out a little and Owen was hysterically laughing saying "Uh oh, she spit it out!!", and then when she'd eat it he'd say "Miss Amelia likes it!!".  So of course, then I asked him if HE liked it and his response was "Noooooooooo.. yuck!".. That's actually how we've gotten Owen to eat dinner better.. he was in this phase where he started fighting us on every single meal, so now when he doesn't want to eat I ask him if he'd rather me feed him some of Amelia's food.. usually I only have to ask once and then he quickly eats the rest of his meal without any problems!!

Having 3 so close in age definitely poses it's challenges, but the rewards far outweigh any of the difficulties.  They are absolutely so close and it melts my heart.  Both Owen and Aidan have to always be in the know regarding the whereabouts of their siblings.. and Amelia.. she's constantly looking for the boys.. staring at them.. watching them.. laughing and cooing.  It's the absolute sweetest thing.  I will say, capturing pictures of all 3 of them successfully smiling is pretty much impossible.  I usually call it a win if I can get a shot without someone crying.  Even if that means grumpy faces!

Owen's new thing is he likes to try and pick her up, supervised always, of course.  He cracks me up because he'll grunt to lift her up, and then put her down and tell me "Miss Amelia is too fat".  The things this child says.. I swear!  I wish I could run video all day every day to capture them!  I always think to myself after he's said something candid that I need to remember it to add it to my blog, but often by the time I actually have a chance to sit down and write, I can't remember what I wanted to write!


Aidan and Amelia are little buddies, too.  I think if I had to choose right now, personality wise, she's tending to be a bit more like Aidan, which is semi terrifying because my Aidan man can be tough stuff.  But, she's got that same demanding/stubborn personality.. she can be sweet as pie and charming.. but when she wants something there is not a damn thing that will distract her from getting it.  Her and Aidan have developed a very close relationship.  She beats up on him, tugging away at his hair and clawing at his face, and he just laughs and giggles back at her.  (Owen will usually cry if she pulls at his hair and then say "Miss Amelia is a bad girl!"). 

We are all looking forward to this Winter ending.  Not so much that it's been a "bad" Winter, but more so it's just seemed like a never ending Winter.  The cold after cold after cold.  I can't wait to just be able to take the kids outside for an hour or 2 every day to burn off some of that pent up energy!  By this point, it feels like every day I'm trying to come up with a new game or idea to keep them entertained.  I happened to have an old comforter of ours folded up in the loft area a few weeks ago.  We always use blankets and such to create tents, but for some odd reason I decided let's use it as a parachute, like they had played with at their birthday party when we had the music lady come.  Fantastic idea, and they instantly loved it.  Except, holy hell is it a workout on our arms to continuously create waves in the blanket to resemble the parachute!  As if that wasn't bad enough, then they both laid on there and we drug them all around the loft and our bedroom.  At first, it wasn't so bad.. just one night, no big deal.. except every single night since they both cheer for parachute!

Another new fun idea was utilizing the gigantic amazon box that comes every month containing our supply of diapers.  We always play inside and push and pull them around the dining room on the hard woods, but I had seen a Facebook posting about how awesome boxes can be for creating personal art spaces, so we figured we'd give it a try!  Huge huge huge success! It's fantastic because 1.  I don't have to worry about them coloring on my table, floor, chair, etc.  2.  They are confined and 3.  they genuinely think this is awesome and are having a blast!  I can quickly see this becoming a new favorite activity!  I'm looking forward to being able to do more fun stuff with them as Amelia is getting older and a bit more independent herself.  I have so many fun projects I'd love to do with them this summer!

That's pretty much it for now.  This month will be busy, I'm sure.  Aidan had his Neurology appointment and is cleared for his surgery (scheduled for the 20th).  While I'm nervous, and wish he didn't have to do it, I know that in the end it's the best thing for him.  I've been told by many people that it's a quick procedure and the recovery is easy, so I'm just hopeful that it'll go that way for him, too.  Of course, it's just anesthesia and such that worries me.. and my baby being out of my hands.. regardless of how brief.  I'm sure he'll be fine, though.. CHOP is incredible, and they were excellent for Owen's eye surgery... hopefully I'll get a chance to check back in the end of the month!





 

Debbie Downer Post

These kids.  Without a doubt they keep me on my toes.  They are the largest contributors to my ever-high stress levels, but they also fill my life with the most amazing sense of love that I've ever experienced.  Earlier today. out of nowhere I had this ridiculously scary panic attack about death.  It was the strangest thing.  The kids were napping, Jason was reading a book/watching TV and I had fallen asleep, briefly, on the couch.  I woke up and there was a Disney commercial on TV.  I thought to myself how I'd love to live in Disney when I'm older so I could go all the time, which then triggered the thought, na, Disney is more fun when you're younger vs when I'm older, which then provoked the thought that my "young" days are over.. and that the idea of doing something when I was "young" won't ever be able to happen because, well, I'm in a different phase of life and you only get one shot at things as "me now".  From there it all just spiraled out of control until I was in a full blown panic attack.  Asking Jason to explain to me what he thinks happens after you die.  I mean, I know he believes in Heaven, but I wanted to hear what it is he thinks Heaven means.. how would it compare to the physical world.. will our days still be routine and typical.. will you still have the same senses that we have now?  For example, will I still be able to hold his hand, kiss him goodnight.. one day would I ever be able to embrace my kids again.. hug them and shower them with all the love I have for them?  We're talking a total melt down here.. tears, anxiety, trouble breathing..!  I am not religious.  My beliefs are very grounded and nature based.  I truly do believe in reincarnation.. I believe that our souls are part of a universal energy that is inherent in all living things and when you die, that energy goes back to the Earth.  But, what does that mean as far as my memories go.  When I die, will I remember this life?  Will I remember the love I have for my children?  The love I have for my husband?  Will it just be like wiping the slate clean and starting all over again.. except for maybe a few dejavu` moments in my next life?  And what happens if God forbid we're all wrong.. and there is no Heaven, no Summerlands, no reincarnation?  What if you die and it's all just.. black.  Nothing.  The end.  This consumed me for a good few hours... scaring the crap out of me.

It's strange.  Death was never something I really "worried" about until recently.  Until having children.  Knowing that it is my job.. my responsibility, my role as their Mother to provide and care for them.. raise them into strong, independent adults.. nurture them and love them for eternity.. the idea that my life, which now has such a greater importance, is not guaranteed is terrifying.  Forget about acknowledging the fact that their lives also aren't guaranteed.. that, I seriously cannot even process, and refuse to even let my mind consider.

It's just very scary.  There has only been a handful of times that Jason and I have both been apart from the children.  And, every time that happens, I get this enormous lump in my stomach thinking the worst thoughts.  Makes me a fantastic date..!  My sister recently watched the kids for Jason and I so we could have dinner out together, and the whole drive there I worried about something terrible happening.. like us getting into an accident or something.. and how unprepared we are.. it was quite the mood setter.  Needless to say, I doubt Jason will be asking me out to dinner again anytime soon!

Seriously, though.. all this worry and panic has provoked the conversation of us generating a will.. a set of wishes.. what we would want for our children.. who we'd want to care for them.. things that are important to us.. values we'd want instilled in them.. etc.  We've not done it yet.. but we know it's something that needs to be done.  Not a pleasant thing.. quite morbid, actually.. but it's important.  This is a whole different side to parenting that you don't think about... preparing for the worst case scenarios.  Blergh.