Did you process that?
It's a girl!
WOW. So. Yea. Let's just say I still haven't been able to process this!!
Okay, let me back up a little bit. I'm sure (if anyone is actually reading this), you're probably rolling your eyes saying "team green, yea right".. I really, really wanted to be team green. I truly did. Of course there were natural things I worried about.. like, waiting to put together a nursery and painting/choosing a theme for the room, and of course the off chance (hah, off chance!) that it'd be a girl finding time to get clothes, etc. But, what really got me thinking was actually the exact same reason why I wanted to be team green.. I'll explain.
So many Moms I know that have been team green have raved about the amazing experience in the delivery room where their significant other got to tell them the sex of their baby. I wanted that surprise so much. I really did. I wanted Jason to be the one to say "here's our baby..x".. Jason and I had this conversation several times in the weeks leading up to our scan.. what I worried about was this.. I will be a repeat c/section regardless. I don't have a choice. 2 precious c/sections and only 14 months in between deliveries here. That's fine, and I'm okay with that. The thing is, my experiences with c/section with Owen and Aidan were quite different. Owen was emergency c/s.. it all happened really quickly, and I do remember being kind of sick during the procedure, but I was still awake/alert enough to remember it. I remember seeing him after he was born, they brought him to me, I got to kiss him, someone took a picture, etc.. but, with Aidan, it was very different. I kept experiencing blood pressure drops which would make me feel like I was passing out, so there are a lot of things I don't remember. I don't remember him being born, or hearing him cry.. I don't actually remember getting to kiss him or see him (actually, I'm pretty sure I didn't).. I was in and out of alertness.. I remember when I sort of woke up Jason and Aidan had already gone to recovery.. I remember that so clearly because I had this tremendous fear shoot through me.. where is my baby..! But, the nurses quickly said he was perfectly fine and him and Jas were in recovery waiting for me... all I kept thinking about is what happens if this time around turned out more like my experience with Aidan.. and then I "miss" Jason getting to be the one to tell me.. or, what if it was similar to Owen, and if (god forbid) baby has to go to the NICU? Then I could potentially miss the birth and then miss getting to see her in the first moments..
So, after a lot of anxiety and stress over whether or not to stay team green.. Jason pointed out one very true fact.. is the possible surprise worth 4+ more months of stress and worry? He was right.. it wasn't. It was better that we made the decision to just find out together... that way we were able to share that moment!!
SO.. there we are.. in the ultrasound room.. tech taking all her measurements.. I was SO sure it was a boy.. seriously, I would have bet all my savings on that! I just.. KNEW it! And then she said.. it's a girl!! Holy crap! LOL. I legit was in shock.. we had her check 5 different ways.. because, seriously, I couldn't believe it!! Jason kept saying he knew it was going to be a girl when they were doing the measurements and she was measuring right on track.. and, her head size was normal LOL. Both my boys always measured 2+ weeks ahead and their heads were ginormous! I admit, when she was doing the measurments, I had a small flicker inside that thought, "well, that's different from my boys".. but I seriously was not prepared for her to say girl!!
I am so very excited at the thought of welcoming a daughter! I have always had a very close relationship with my Mom, and I've dreamed of having that one day with my own daughter. While I'm beyond in love with my boys.. it will be such a special thing to have a daughter now, too!
I'm still processing though... if I'm totally honest here, I'd be lying if I said I don't still have my doubts!! I just.. I don't know!! It doesn't feel right! Maybe because I'm just so used to "boys".. I just keep thinking that this has got to be wrong!!! The tech seemed pretty confident.. but, she also kept saying the baby had her legs crossed, so it was hard to get a really good view.. (initially, this is what she said.. and she said she was 90% sure, but we'd take a closer look.. and then proceeded to check 5 different angles lol).. I don't know!!!
I have a sub-optimal re-scan in 2 weeks.. she was all crunched up in a ball and they couldn't get good pictures of her spine, so I have to go back in 2 weeks to try again.. I'll be sure to ask them to re-check.. again, and again, and maybe once more ;-)
Wow.. a baby girl!! Now to start thinking about names!!! And clothes! OMG, have you seen baby girl clothes?! Insanely adorable. Oh man.. for my bank accounts sake, I should hope they're wrong!
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