Holy whirlwind!

 I don't quite think the term whirlwind is a strong enough word to describe the chaos that has been our lives these past two months!  The beginning weeks with a newborn are always difficult.. we were expecting that fully.. but, a newborn AND 2 very needy toddlers does make it extra challenging!  I think for Jas and I the biggest adjustment has been dealing with sleep deprivation.  And, for me, adjusting to the differences between a breastfed baby versus a formula fed baby.

First.  Sleep.  Oh dear God!  For those of you who don't adequately value sleep... THINK AGAIN!  Sleep is such a huge necessity, and something I will never take for granted!  Amelia, my sweet, beautiful little lady... she has started off very much ANTI sleep.  Actually, that's a lie.. the first 3 weeks she did decent.. 2-3 hour stretches consistent throughout the day and night.  Exactly what you'd expect from a newborn.  That was easy, and predictable.  It was the rebellion that occurred around week 3 when she decided sleeping wasn't necessary, and instead she'd wake up 2-3 times a night, but then stay awake for 2-3 hours each time, resulting in two very exhausted parents!  I had no choice but to learn to function off of 3 and 4 hours of broken sleep a night.  I am almost afraid to speak the words aloud, but... we have had a week or so with more good nights than bad.. so, I'm very optimistic that we will soon be turning a corner.  Still by no means are we in the clear.. but, I can at least see straight and the deep purple circles that have been permanently fixed under my eyes are starting to fade!

Then there's the breastfeeding challenges.  I almost want to write an entire post about this.. and, maybe I will another day.. but for now I'll just say that it has been one of the most difficult challenges for me, and one that hasn't quite "paid off" the way I expected.  Long story short, I wasn't able to nurse either of my boys.. Owen never worked out because of his NICU stay, and Aidan didn't work out because he wasn't gaining weight.. I was determined to make it work this time.. I AM determined to make this work.. but, it hasn't been easy.. not at all!  I will openly admit to being the type who likes to have a good deal of control over certain things.. with nursing.. it's been an entirely new approach having to learn to "trust" my body.  In the beginning of our journey (and our new Pedi probably thinks I'm a huge wingnut), I kept taking Amelia in for weight checks to make sure she was gaining.  I finally have more confidence in the fact that she is indeed getting enough, but I still feel like we're constantly battling challenge after challenge.  We've been facing some GI issues.. definitely dealing with reflux, which is being treated with medication (though it's not fully helping), perhaps some milk protein sensitivities (hello dairy free diet.. you SUCK), and maybe even a bit of colic thrown into the mix.  We have an appointment with a GI specialist this month, and I'm really hopeful that together we can get her to a more comfortable place so that we are all a bit.. happier!

I envisioned nursing being this amazingly incredible experience.. me feeding her, looking down at her.. bonding.. filled with this feeling of empowerment knowing that I was able to provide for her and that it would just be beautiful and serene.  I wasn't prepared for a baby who screams at the breast, is constantly pulling off shrieking in pain, thrashing around, biting and bruising me, the tears from us both, etc.  It has just.. not at all been the pleasant experience that I hoped for...yet!  I know she's gaining.. and I know that once we can sort through whatever it is that's causing her discomfort we'll find that joyful place in our nursing relationship.  We just aren't there yet.  Yet.

And to think I thought getting a decent picture of my boys was tough!! Trying to capture all 3 is nearly impossible!

Month 3, so far, has started off much better than the first two.  Again, hoping we're at that corner where the light has been hiding with regards to sleep!  My boys are absolutely incredible with Amelia.   OJo is my little helper.. in every way!  He helps to console her when she's crying (often by pulling my shirt down insisting she wants to eat!), helps me pat her back when she needs to be burped, and even brings me diapers and insists on watching me (and often trying to help me!!) clean and change her.

Aidan's interest in her is ever growing... and we've made strides of progress with his interactions with her.  When we first brought her home, he wasn't exactly the gentlest giant you've ever met... he very much lived up to his nickname, bruiser.  We've gotten to a point now that he does genuinely want to be around Amelia and pay her attention, but we're still working on teaching him how to be gentle.  For example, pivoting all your weight on her tummy so you can lean in and headbutt kiss her isn't exactly the type of love that makes her smile and coo.  He also likes to "pat" her tummy when she's laying on the floor.. but, his pats are more like grabs.  I kept trying to figure out why I was finding little red marks on Amelia's belly and eventually realized when he was patting/grabbing her belly, he was actually pinching her a bit and not just gripping her clothing.  Sigh, it really is a work in progress.  We don't want to discourage his interest in her, but we also feel like we are 100% on guard whenever he comes near!  I don't remember there being this much of a learning curve with Owen when we brought Aidan home.  Just goes to show how different each child can be!

Supervising interactions with Amelia is only a part of my day.  The rest of the time I'm a full on referee between the boys.  Legit, I am asking for a striped shirt and whistle for Christmas!! Now that Aidan is stable on his feet, full fledged wrestling matches ensue between the two of them.. often started by child 2, not the oldest!  Owen.. he's definitely our sensitive child.. he often doesn't "fight back" or even defend himself from his bully brother.  We're working on the right way to handle this.. we want OJo to stand up for himself, but I also don't want to encourage him to be too rough with his brother.. but, sometimes him being such a "softy" makes him even more of a target.  It's a tough balance.  I see a very similar pattern in my nephews, though, and I wonder if this is just "the life" of a 2nd child verses a first child.. first being more passive and second more aggressive.

 October was a great month... not only is it my favorite month of the year, but it was also a lot of fun for the kids with all the Halloween festivities that fill up the month.  A few weeks before Amelia's arrival, a very pregnant and very desperate Momma started playing Halloween music to entertain her children.. at the time, I thought it was a great idea and the boys loved it!  2 months later, (and we still had a few weeks to go before Halloween) I was wishing Monster Mash and This is Halloween had never been created!  Needless to say, there were lots of silly dance parties and pretending to be zombies, ghosts and ghouls up in here!

 Daddy also had to go away for work for a week, which could have been a disaster, but thank goodness my Mom came by and helped out.  At the time, Amelia still wasn't sleeping much at all, so I was more than grateful for the help!  Mommom always comes over ready to party and play -- and, to clean and organize!  I'm not sure what I was more grateful of.. her helping out with entertaining the boys or her helping clean and organize essentially my entire house.  She also invented a new game -- diaper box towers.  I guess with 3 in diapers, its not really a shocker to see how many boxes we can accrue in a months time -- pampers really must love us!  For real, it amazes me how the simplest things can provide HOURS of entertainment.  These boxes became the hottest toy in the house -- between creating towers to knock over, castles to walk through and trains to crawl on top of my kids were entertained for weeks!  So, anyone buying Christmas gifts for my kids this year.. skip the gift and just give them a box!

We also had my nephews over for an evening of pumpkin painting.  I was really surprised by how interested my boys were in this!  I admit, I am the least artsy person in the world, and for that reason I don't often do a whole lot of art related projects with the kids.  In my opinion, it's a WHOLE lot of mess for a very short window of entertainment.  However, after seeing how much of an interest they had in painting their pumpkins, I'll have to bite the bullet on this one and let them do more arts and crafts type projects in the future.

It was super cute to see all four boys sitting shirtless around the table painting their pumpkins.  As you can see, my nephews took this project very seriously and were intently focused on creating masterpieces.  They take after their Mommy!

 I was shocked to see how well Owen did with grasping the concept of rinsing his brush in between colors and not mixing his "palette".

 Aidan, on the other hand, was a bit more adventurous with the paint.  Thank goodness I chose Crayola washable finger paints for him and not the acrylic stuff the big kids were using!  I'm quite confident more paint landed on him and on his pumpkin.  This little blondie is so full of spunk I can't even explain it!

October was full of all sorts of "firsts".. I also ventured out to Target for the first time with all three kids to pick out a Halloween costume for Aidan.  Spoiler alert:  I'll never be attempting that mission again!  The grand plan was to meet my Mom and Sister over at target, and perhaps if the boys were good head to the mall.  Have I mentioned before about Aidan having issues with motion sickness?  This kid!  Ever since he was a baby he would SCREAM bloody hell every time we were in the car.  We just assumed he would outgrow it.  Well, instead, around a first birthday he stopped screaming, and now just vomits almost every time we go more than 10 minutes in the car.  It actually really sucks.. I feel so bad for him.  I get car sick, so I can absolutely relate.  The poor kid doesn't even cry in the car anymore, he just thrashes from side to side and moans until he starts puking.  Once we realized that the barfing incidents weren't just a fluke and that he really was sick from the car, I came up with this great idea to get one of those rubber bibs with the pouch on the bottom to catch food, except for him it would catch puke!  Score.. ingenious idea!  So, here we are heading to target, after it took 2 hours to get everyone dressed and fed and loaded into the car.. Amelia is sleeping, Owen is happy and Aidan has his barf bib on.  The whimpering started just as we were a few minutes away from the exit, followed by the signature cough-and-vomit event. But, no worries, right, he's got that bib on!! It really was a great idea, I just overlooked one major flaw.. once the barf is caught in the bib, what's a 1 year old to do??  Play in it, of course!! And, as if splashing his hands in vomit isn't bad enough, flipping the bib upside down so that the puke goes everywhere is an awesome game, too.  So. So. Gross. And of course, I didn't think to bring extra clothes, because I thought for sure the bib would work.  There I stood, in target parking lot, cleaning up vomit.  I should have known that was just a sign to turn around and go home!  But, no.. in we went, with Aidan smelling rancid.  I'd like to say the rest of the trip improved, but it didn't.. Aidan was whiney the entire time, which meant someone had to carry him, which then made Owen mad and caused him to refuse to sit in the cart requiring another person to hold him, and Amelia, well, I can't really blame her since she was only 5ish weeks old!  We looked like major idiots, I'm sure.. pushing an empty cart and each carrying a kid.  The only upside of the trip was that the awesome target employee found us a clearanced costume for Aidan - super nice of her!!  I'd like to say that saving the $ on the clearanced costume was worth the hassle, but it so wasn't!

 Halloween itself was a lot of fun this year!  Owen thought it was incredible to go Trick-or-Treating with all the big kids.. the "guys" as he called them were comprised of my two nephews, 5 and 7, and a friend of my Sister and her troupe of 4 ranging in age between 3-7.  Owen was constantly trying to keep up with the bigger kids, often pleading for them to wait for him and let him "knock" on the doors.  I thought I was doing him a favor, one time, by skipping a house ahead of the big kids so we'd get there first and Owen could knock.. but, he ended up being too afraid of the wreath on the door and refused to get close enough to knock.  Go figure.  Aidan was a trooper, too.  Despite puking in the car on the way to my Mom's, he bounced back quickly and had just as much fun as the older kids.  In the mad rush to get 3 kids dressed and ready and out the door, I of course forgot my camera and didn't get a Halloween picture, but, we had a Halloween birthday party that weekend and I was able to snap this shot of them in their costumes.  My cheeky little buzz lightyear and the fattest baby owl you've ever seen in your life!