The Dish Washing Desire

It's funny how sometimes you feel like you can't really speak your mind, because you're afraid of being judged.  Perhaps that's just me, and my strange hang up on what people around me are thinking.  Regardless, today I bring to the blog some brutal honesty, with the hopes of no judgement!

We are on week 11 now of my maternity leave.  11 weeks home with the kids.. trying to get everyone acclimated to the new routine of having 3 and not 2.. trying to get Amelia on some kind of sleep schedule.. hell, forget the schedule, just some kind of habit where she naps daily would be nice!  And, ya know, a nap must be defined as a period of sleep that lasts longer than 30 minutes once I've put her down.  The 57 different 10 minute catnap things she does after she's finished nursing do not count!  I digress.  Sort of.  Jas works from home on Monday and Wednesday, which is awesome because it gives me a helping hand for the toughest portions of the day (i.e. lunch time and dinner prep).  Tuesdays are usually a breeze because I know J will be home on Wednesday.  Thursdays and Fridays are tougher.  By the end of the week, I'm tired.  The house needs to be cleaned, again.. the kids start getting antsy.. everyones' routines start going all haywire because the weekend is approaching, etc.

Today really was a pretty decent day.  The morning started off great.. boys slept in until 8:45, Amelia slept until 6:15, everyone woke pretty happy.. it was good!  Owen is in that phase where he likes to watch a movie, and once he decided he "likes" it, we then must watch it every. single. day. of. our. lives!  For the past few weeks it's been Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas (or Twice upon a Christmas.. Mickey 1 or Mickey 2 he calls them).  I had run out last night to the store to pick up a few things I needed, and I bought him Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  We attempted watching that this morning, except every time music played (which happens like every 2 minutes in the 30 minute show!) Owen would frantically start saying "all done, Mom!  Mickey Christmas now, pleaseeeeeeee Mom?".. So, yea.. the Grinch wasn't really a hit. 

Naptime came.  The normal routine is I feed the boys lunch, change them and put them down around 1pm, and then come down nurse Amelia and she goes down, too.  On the most glorious of days, all 3 will sleep for at least an hour.  Today, not so much.  Aidan has been going through this anti-sleep phase, too.  When you put him down he screams like he's being tortured and then often just lays in there babbling/whining/hollering for me to come get him.  The other night (again, I digress), he pitched such a huge fit that he threw himself down in the crib and busted his lip open.. blood all over his sheets, his mouth.. yep, lots of fun!  Anyway, to my surprise they both went down easily, so I mistakenly thought I was going to get time to shower today!  Go down to feed Amelia, who is WIDE awake and cooing and happy as can be.. of course, not at all ready to go to sleep.. I feed her, rock her, get her nice and content when I realize hmmm.. she smells kinda bad.. so I figure okay, let me try changing her quickly without disrupting her sleepy state.. ummm, yea, that didn't happen because my girl was FULL of poop.  Legit.  Like, up to and INSIDE her belly button.  Which then required an impromptu tubby.  Which then required the entire swaddle, rock and get to sleep process to have to start all over again.  And, wouldn't you know, the second I get her to sleep, Aidan begins calling my name!  So, I quickly emptied the dishwasher and retrieved the hooting child before he woke up Owen, too.  No break for this Momma!

By the time 5pm rolled around.. Amelia was screaming to eat at the exact moment I needed to start dinner and both my boys had decided to put me on mute apparently because NO ONE listened to a thing I said.. and this was anything from don't hit your brother to don't open the oven!  Did not matter, no one listens after 5pm.. it's just a rule they have.. a pact.. a brotherly pact.  Today, thanks to Aidan's boycott of naps, we had 2 head injuries in a matter of 5 minutes time.  In his sleepy, delirious "I will not listen to Mom" state of mind, he headbutted the corner of my kitchen wall TWICE.  Legit.  He whacked his head, I picked him up, we iced it, I put him back down, turned around to finish making dinner and he whacks it again.  To which I then put him in his highchair.. confinement!  Needless to say, I very much watch the clock and wait.. wait for the glorious moment that Daddy walks in the door.  Because, I know that a second pair of hands.. and perhaps a short break for me is on the horizon!

Jas and I usually split up the evening tasks.  He walks in, we all eat dinner.. I take the kids and bathe them, play with them, burn the last bits of energy while Daddy packs up the food and does the dishes before coming out and joining us before bedtime.  Most people would probably think I have it made!  My husband does the dishes almost every single night!  It is really a nice gesture.. and I love that he's so helpful!  Seriously, we have 3 babies so close in age because teamwork is something we've mastered.. he is fantastic.  But.  But!  Some nights.. especially on Thursdays and Fridays.. it is I who has the desire to stand at the sink scrubbing the pots and pans. 

Dishes used to be a tedious task that no one wanted to do.  But, some nights I feel like it's the chore that we are both secretly hoping to get assigned.  Manning 3 kids who are sleepy, cranky and unruly, the boys both wild and crazy burning off that sugar rush that came from the "treat" they were rewarded after eating dinner.. it's exhausting, especially after a long day.  And, I often don't say anything, because I know he's just as tired, too, from working all day... but, sometimes.. just sometimes... I need that break, too.  I love my kids and I would not change the craziness that is our lives for a second.. but, every once in a while.. I need to be the one standing alone in the kitchen, with the sound of the running water drowning out the shrieks and screams and calls for my name..!  Sometimes it's that tiny bit of a break that helps me regroup myself and give me that last push to get through the bedtime craziness.

Tonight, we compromised.  Daddy did most of the dishes.. until Mommy came in and took over.. and then proceeded to stay in the kitchen and bake cupcakes and brownies while Daddy put the boys' to bed.