Tis' the season!

Tis` the season to be BUSY! Christmastime is a wonderful time of year, but... It's also busy, stressful, exhausting, etc.  With Thanksgiving being on the late side this year I feel like there really is minimal time to get things done.  Thank GOODNESS for amazon!  I feel like 3/4 of my holiday shopping has come through there.  It's the only way to get things done with two little kids.  I've learned pretty quickly that it's not worth the stress and anxiety to take my boys to the mall.  Someone always ends up having a meltdown.  And, 99.9% of the time that "someone" is Owen.  I swear he knows there's nothing I can do about him pitching a fit mid-mall, and so he does it. Every. Single. Time.  Plus, even when they aren't screaming crying and causing a huge scene, I'm so preoccupied trying to keep them happy that I can't remember who or what I'm shopping for.  Alas.  Online shopping has won me over this year.  I've been pretty diligent about the wrapping component.. working on wrapping a handful of items each night so it doesn't turn out to be a huge to-do days before the big day.  It's helped, but also makes me realize that I still have several things to buy and we're officially within a week of Christmas!

Christmas makes me think of so many things... Family.. Cookies.. Presents.. Candy Canes.. and, of course, SANTA!  (When I type that, I automatically hear Will Farrell shouting "Santa" as he does in the movie Elf) Does the idea of Santa fill you with warm fuzzy happy feelings?!  It does for me!  For my children, not so much:

Aidan is thoroughly unimpressed, and Owen was purely terrified.  However, he wasn't screaming!  He saved that for our trip to see Santa the other day at the mall.  Sigh.

The poor mall Santa.. bless his heart!  Between Aidan refusing to look at us, and Owen screaming bloody murder, the poor Santa was practically gritting his teeth waiting for me to take my children back.  As is evident in the above photo!  Owen was flailing so bad the other 3 pictures they took were all blurry.. this was the only non blurred picture, but also includes the "perturbed" Santa expression and Aidan looking somewhere off to the side.  Oh well.

 I'd say I have high hopes for Christmas morning, but I think we're still a bit too young to fully grasp the excitement that comes with Christmas presents galore.  I'll call it a success if no one has a major meltdown in the time it takes Daddy and I to open all of their presents.  I'm hopeful.. slighlty hopeful.. that Owen will take an interest in opening a few gifts.

So far this Holiday Season the thing he has enjoyed the most is the tree.  When he woke and saw the tree, pre-lights/decorations, he was very confused.  He kept walking over to it and just pointing at it saying "Ehh".. like "why is there a tree in the house?".  Then, when we were decorating it.. he thought it was fun to follow me around and around the tree as I was stringing on the lights.. the fun ended when I realized he stopped following me around, and instead was chewing on a tree branch.. sigh.  I'd say only my kid eats a Christmas tree, but I'm sure he's not alone!  It was quite funny having to brush pine needles off his tongue, though!  Since then he has only pretended to eat the tree.. I suppose that's better?  He really enjoys seeing the ornaments.. especially the few Mickey ornaments that are hanging eye-level to him.  He's pretty good about not touching.. again, except for the Mickey ones.. those he just can't resist!  He also likes to add his own ornaments.. ya know, his shoes, his sippy cup, the pacifier, etc.  He cracks me up!

Life is busy, ya'll.. so, I'm gonna call it a night! Plus, I'm pretty exhausted.  This would be the second time in 3 days that I've had to sanitize my boys' bathroom tub because some little stinker (ahem, Aidan) has decided to poop during tubby time.  Yup.  Twice.  In 3 days.  And, both times, I was bathing the kids together.. which caused mad chaos because, ya know, Owen thought it was something cool floating around in the tub and he wanted to grab it.. For real.  It's never a dull moment.  Never. Ever.  So yea, I'm pretty tired and I still smell like bleach, despite showering after the kids went to bed.  Merry Christmas to everyone!

Things to be thankful for.

One of my favorite aspects of the Holiday Season is the strong focus on family.  Although I try and make sure to acknowledge and appreciate my family & friends throughout the year, the Holidays tend to encourage people to be more vocal about the things they are thankful for. Here are a few of the things I'm eternally grateful for this year.. in no particular order.

1.  My children. 

My boys are my world.  Life is fragile.  Life is delicate.  Life is often not appreciated the way it should be.  Finding out about the passing of a close family friend's son has truly rattled me.  My heart aches for them immensely.  It has also terrified me. 

As a Mother, I want nothing more in life than to protect my boys and raise them "correctly".  Correctly.. what does that even mean? There is no such thing.  My hope is for them to become strong, independent adults.. Men who are not afraid to be compassionate, loving and nurturing.. I want them to always be kind, forgiving and inquisitive.. to not be afraid of life and all the experiences it has to offer.. but, most importantly, I want them to be wise.. wise in their decision making.. if there is one thing that I've learned since becoming a parent (and one thing that terrifies me), it's that as much as I may desire, I can not control my children.  I can not always guarantee their safety.  I can lead them.  I can teach them.  But, at the end of the day, their decisions are their own. As a parent, all I can do is hope that I've given them all the tools they may need while navigating this complex world we live in.  For me, recognizing this lack of "control" is scary.

As a woman who has experienced miscarriage, perhaps I find myself more sensitive to this topic of wanting to protect my children.  From the day I found out I was pregnant with both my babies, my focus changed.  Each time my mind switched and the focus was to do anything and everything I could to protect my growing child.  I spent both my pregnancies filled with worry.. always wanting to make sure I was doing what was "right" for them.. always hoping that everything was going to be fine.  Each and every high risk appointment we went to, I had knots in my gut afraid of what they might see.  I remember when I was pregnant with Owen.. I kept saying to my husband.. once the baby is born and we know he's okay, all the worry will stop.  Seriously, I was so naive!  The worry has only escalated.  Instead of worrying about what's going on inside my body.. something I had very little control of anyway, now I have to worry about everything else!  Am I feeding them enough, are they sleeping enough, are they crying because I'm doing something wrong? Are they hot, cold, sick, bored? What is this bump, why is that temperature not going away, how come he isn't making great eye contact?  The worry is intense and constant. 

It brings me back to why I'm grateful.  Despite the worry and the fears of the future, these boys have filled my heart with so much love and joy and pride.  They are absolutely perfect right now.  They are healthy and thriving.  They are growing, laughing and learning by the second.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't look them in the eye and feel so thankful for the blessing I've been given by having them in my life.  They have changed me forever.  They have made me such a better person.  When I was in college, there was no doubt that I wanted to get my doctorate.. I thought for sure I'd be the type that fought to climb that career ladder!  Sure, my career still has meaning to me, and perhaps one day I will return back to get that PhD, but the satisfaction that comes from my career can not even compare to what I feel from being a Mother.  I remember while growing up my Mom would always tell us how much she loved us, and say that we'd never understand until we had children of her own.  She was right.  As much as I thought I knew the power of love, nothing compares to the emotional connection I have with my boys.  I am so thankful to have them in my life.  I am so thankful to be be given this opportunity to be their mother.  I will always strive to be the best Mother I can be.. and I hope and pray that I can keep them safe forever. 

2.  My husband.

If my boys turn out to be even just half the man my husband is, we will have succeeded.  My husband is my world.  Another year.  Another pregnancy.  Another birth.  Another post-pregnancy hormone crash causing crazy all-over-the-place mood swings.  And he still loves me for me.  He is an incredible support person, an irreplaceable friend, and one hell of a partner!  Above all the things he is to me, even more amazing is his ability as a Father.  I never doubted that he'd be a wonderful Dad, but he has surpassed each and every expectation I've ever had for him.  His love for our boys is incredible.  There is something about watching the man you love handling your newborn baby.. it just makes you fall in love all over again.  Seeing that sensitive, delicate side.. seeing the raw emotion through his eyes.. seeing the love he has for your baby.. he is a truly wonderful man, and to say I'm grateful to be able to call him my husband is an understatement.

3.  My family.

I am very fortunate in the sense that I have such a close relationship with my parents and 2 sisters.  Had you asked me 10 years ago if I one day would refer to my Mom as my best friend, I'm not sure if my answer would have been yes (my 16 year old self probably would have been too stubborn to say  yes!).  My parents, in many ways, have become idols.. my role models.  As has my older Sister, my Grandparents, my Aunts and my in-laws.  I see the strength in all the family ties that surround us and I know that J and I strive to uphold these same standards in our own family as the years go on.  Family is so important. Being surrounded by so many people that not only love J and I, but also our boys is incredible.  We want them both to know how special they are to us and to all those we love.  We are truly grateful for the relationships that our boys will have with all of our family.  Not all children are blessed with that.

When I look at my relationship with my parents, especially with my Mother, I can't help but hope that one day I'll have this same relationship with Owen and Aidan.  I know how much my parents mean to me.. I know how much I enjoy spending time with them.. we laugh, we kid, we reminisce.. I can only hope that when my boys are grown, they, too, will want to come home and spend time with us.  That they, too, will find comfort in being surrounded by family.  My Mom has always called me a "home-body".. I do hope my boys will be this way, too.  I'm incredibly grateful for the way my parents have raised me and all the support and love they've showered me with through the years. 

4. Too many other things to list.

I could ramble on for hours on end about being thankful for our beautiful home that will shelter us while we raise our children, or the security both J and I have had in our jobs, or the old friendships that have recently been rekindling over this past year that I value so much.. I could talk about how grateful I am for the play dates I've had with my boys.. teaching them at such a young age the importance of friendship but, alas, I think this post has gotten long enough.  November is often a month where we recollect on all the things we're thankful for, as I've done, but these are things I'm thankful for all year long.  I'm blessed to be blessed with so many blessings :)

Milestone Books.

Milestone books.  Ya know, the ones that say "by X amount of months your kid should be doing Y".  They should all be taken out of print.  Burned.  Banned from the parenting communities!  When Owen was first born, I bought several parenting/milestone books thinking it was the "right" thing to do.  It would help me make sure my child(ren) was on the right path with hitting all of his developmental milestones.  Except, the reality is all those books have done is make me paranoid about everything! 

Owen didn't repeatedly roll over until something like 8 months?  And, he didn't crawl until 11ish months.. but he walked at just over a year (about the only milestone we reached on time).. Now, at 16 months, he still barely says any words.. he is capable of speaking, he just chooses not to.. his common words are: mama or mom.. baba.. chunk (unk).. vroom.. and then a handful of other things he's said maybe 3-5 times each.. such as I love you..biggest fluke ever.. said it two days in a row, and then nothing since!.. Dada.. which has become more of a game, I think.. he just likes to not say it because it riles us up.. and up. The point is, almost every "milestone" that he should have hit, he's been behind on.  And, each and every time it gave me anxiety. 

And then there's Aidan.. at his 2 month appointment, the pediatrician pointed out that he wasn't making good eye contact or tracking.. after her saying this (and, of course, my reaction was "No no no, he does wonderful at home!"), I watched him like a hawk for the next month.  And, she was right.  He wasn't really interested in looking at me.  He didn't really care to see my face.. or even Daddy's face.. he was just more interested in looking around.  The Pedi was very clear that this was something he should be doing by 3 months.  So, when 3 months came and he still wasn't following me (or toys), I started to get scared.  Several nights I cried thinking there might be something wrong.  But, I just continued watching him... have you ever heard the expression "a watched pot doesn't boil".. I swear that's what was going on!  I went back to work shortly after he turned 3 months and Aidan man has been home with Daddy and OJo.  And Daddy.. my laid back, go with the flow husband.. he just let them be.  And wouldn't you know, in this past month Aidan has changed so much.  He looks for us when we speak, he stares at us, and smiles and coos back.. he will happily follow toys when we're playing with him, etc.  He's perfectly fine.  All the worry and fear and tears on my part were for nothing!

As a Mom, I want the best for my kids.  I want them to thrive as children, grow up to be responsible, successful, and loving adults.  I want the world for them both.  So, when I read in a book that "your child should be reciting 3/4 of the dictionary by the time he's 18 months" (exaggerating, of course), it worries me that my kid is "behind".. or when I read about the importance of eye contact in the first 3 months and how it can be an indicator of other issues I can't help but get nervous.  It's my job to be vigilant.. to protect them.. to teach them.. to nurture them.  So, isn't is also my job to worry?

In the end.. what have I learned?  My kids are perfectly fine!  Those books are based on standards.. averages.. learning curves.  I'm a scientist!  I, of all people, should understand that these types of timelines are based on medians, averages, etc.  There will always be examples of children who reach milestones earlier, and there will always be children who reach them later.  The point is, my boys do and will reach their milestones.. it's just at their own pace.  And, there's nothing wrong with that!  For years, people have been telling me that the answers aren't always in the "books".. and in this scenario, they're right!  I'm truly going to try and STOP reading those annoying milestone books.. or emails from "The Bump" and "Enfamil".. instead I'm going to trust my instincts.. who cares if my children are on the downward slope of the bell curve?  They are still on the curve, and that's all that matters!

No more worrying for me.. until the next milestone, of course :)

Halloween Success!

Halloween was a success!  Despite our previous attempt of trying on Owen's costume (which lead to a screaming sobbing toddler) this time it was a much better experience; he happily put the spider suit on without any tears.  I think seeing Alex and Liam (his cousins) all dressed up helped distract him! We only trick-or-treated for a short while, but it was fun - neither child had a meltdown!  However, there were a few party fails along the way.. like, Daddy forgetting to bring the "spider head" hat portion of Owen's costume.. and, Mommy forgetting to actually take some pictures of my kids in costume.. in our defense, we were a little rushed.  Both boys decided to take exceptionally long naps (which, I'm grateful for!!), which meant we were already running late.. and then the weather wasn't super cooperative.. it was 70+ degrees (which was nuts) but drizzling off and on so we weren't really sure how long our trick-or-treating adventures would last with the threat of rain closing in.. so yea, the picture taking sort of took a backseat, minus a few quick snaps complements of my Sister!

 The trick-or-treating crew (minus Aidan)! Mario and Luigi are my nephews.

Owen really enjoyed the freedom.. it's certainly not every day that we let him run a muck trampling across peoples' front yards!  If I'm honest, that used to be a pet peeve of mine.. seeing kids running across the grass instead of using the walkways.. except, now that I have my own kids I have a much better understanding of why that happens!! Trying to explain to a 1 year old that he shouldn't run on the grass is like talking to a wall.  After about the 3rd house I just gave up and let him go.. and then by the 5th house, he was too tired to run anymore anyway, so Daddy was the lucky winner and got to carry him.

I must admit, it's been really great having J home with the boys these past few weeks (his company permits him to take 8 weeks paternity).  Especially with me working part time now, and having Thurs/Fri off, it's been so nice having those extra 2 days a week to do family things.  Friday we decided to take the boys to Adventure Aquarium.  We purchased season passes last year.. definitely worth the money!  We had gone a few times while Owen was younger.. it was a nice change of scenery and kept him somewhat occupied.. but this was the first time we've gone since Owen has become mobile, and it was SO much fun!  He had a blast!  They have an entire section dedicated for little kids which Owen loved.  I think one of my favorite parts about the "toddler" age is watching the excitement on his face when he's discovering new things! 

Aidan man was great, too.. he's such a calm baby.  He really is.. he's happy, he's content.. all you have to do is feed the kid and give him love and he will smile and coo and snuggle all day long! He makes us contemplate what I once thought would be total insanity.. the idea of 3U3!

We are finishing off the weekend just relaxing at home.  Daddy and his boys are watching the Eagles game (currently winning!! But, there's still 10 minutes in the 4th quarter.. we've seen them blow it with much less time!).. I've spent much of the day making homemade chicken soup.. the house smells amazing!  Just a lazy Sunday before I head back to work tomorrow.. thank goodness for 3 day work weeks!  I don't think I will ever be able to go back to full time =)

Family Pictures and some other ramblings!

Last weekend my sister was so kind to take some family photos for us!  Despite planning it a few days in advance, achieving "happy kid" status with both my children was pretty much a failed attempt.  Aidan was great!  Owen.. meh, not so much.  First, we walked past the park.. I swear kids have "park radar" and within a certain distance they can just SENSE that there is happiness to be had and their MEAN Mommy is depriving them of that.. that was meltdown #1.  Then, we get to the nice grassy spot where we plan to take pictures.. but, Owen doesn't want to be on the grass.. he wants to be on the sidewalk.. ya know, naturally, because every kid wants to run and fall on the sidewalk and give Momma heart failure that he may smash his teeth or something.. right, so there was that.. and then there was the meltdown because we wouldn't let him hold his cup for pictures.. sigh.  Stupid cup.  Oh right, and there was my bright idea of trying to bribe him by telling him if he smiled for pictures I'd give him a cookie.. except, I didn't bring any cookies.. or any treats for that matter.. and finally, there was just the overall battle with the sun.. because, neither of my kids enjoy sunshine.. it hurts their eyes.. so, yea, it was a fun time!  Kudos to my sister for still managing to get some great shots despite the uncooperative 1 year old!!  (Check out some more of her photography at Http://pictureperfect4you.webs.com)

Love my boys <3  All three of them!  And, my sister for taking such amazing pictures!  She was even so kind as to offer taking some for the Holidays in a few months, too!  You can bet I'll be taking her up on that!

In other news.. today is Halloween.. it's still early, so no trick or treating yet, but we're hoping to get there in a few hours.. and by "there" I mean my Mom's house.. we get ZERO 'trick-or-treat'ers at our house.  I suppose that's probably because our driveway is like a mile long so it probably takes a good couple of minutes to walk from one door to the next door.. bad for efficiency I guess.

What are my children being for Halloween, you ask?  Likely nothing, if Owen were to choose!  Owen despises being dressed up.. my sister had given me some costumes her boys used when they were little (my nephews are 4 and 6 now.. where the heck did that time go?!) and we "practiced" dressing Owen up a few weeks ago.. major fail.. see below for proof!

Yup.  He hates costumes.  I'm hoping that today, being with his cousins and seeing other kids dressed, will make him a little more willing to put one on.. since it's 70+ degrees out I'm thinking we're going to go with the spider.. it's going to be interesting!! I'm hoping to at least get a few "non screaming" pictures!  Aidan man is going to be a little monster.. nothing fancy, just a striped jumper with a monster face hat.. And, I'll likely wrap him anyway (afterall, Halloween was my justification for why I bought my Ooga Spooky wrap!!)..wish us luck!

Beautiful Fall Weekend!

Last week was my first week switching to part time at work.  After Owen was born and my maternity leave ended I returned to work full time.. it was absolutely horrible.  I think I cried at some point every day over that!  I have a pretty hefty commute (1 1/2 - 2 hours both ways), and there's nothing worse than sitting in the car stuck in traffic thinking about how much time I'm missing out on with my baby.. Shortly after finding out I was pregnant again, I made the decision that after baby #2 came along I needed to adjust my schedule.  So, after pressing and pressing at work, they finally approved my reduced schedule request!  Can I just say.. 3 day work weeks are amazing!! I love having 4 days home with my boys -- best decision ever!  Sure, the paycheck was a whole lot nicer before, but the time I'm gaining now with my boys is invaluable :)

It's been a perfect Fall weekend here, filled with tons of fun, laughter and a few big milestones for my OJo! It was such a nice day yesterday that we decided to spend some time playing outside.  I had high hopes of getting some pictures of both boys with the beautiful Autumn trees in the background, but Aidan man had other plans.. instead of his typical 30 minute naps, he decided to stay sleeping the entire time we were playing outside.  Oh well, I'll take good naps over a good picture opportunity any day.  Here are some OJo shots from our front yard:

And, shortly after we started taking pictures, we had some visitors arrive!  My younger sister had just bought a new car nearby, so her and my parents stopped by for a quick hello!

 

And, despite sleeping the afternoon away, Aidan passed out again during dinner!  Ah, tis` the life to sleep as much as you please :)

Yesterday couldn't have ended any better; as I was giving my OJo his bedtime tubby, he said "I love you" to me!  It was the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my life.  The first time he said it (which sounded more like "eye-you"), I thought I was hallucinating.  And then, he repeated it!  Now, let me just say that Owen is one of the most stubborn kids on the planet.. especially when it comes to speaking!  He's bright, no doubt, but doesn't like to do a single thing to please anyone else!! With that being said, the fact that he said it and repeated it was a huge success!! He then said it a third time this morning in front of both me and J.  Made my heart melt!  On top of saying "eye-you", we've also heard him saying "unk" (Chunk is our dog's name) and "up" several times, too!  Timing couldn't have been any better as I was just expressing my concern for Owen's lack of speech to our pediatrician at his 15 month appointment Friday.. she assured me he'd start talking any day.. who knew "any day" would actually be the very next day!

Also.. my other Sister was so kind to do some family photos for us today at a local park :)  More on that in the coming days!
 

Putting a Face to the Name :)

So here we go!  After weeks and weeks and weeks of talking about creating a blog, I'm FINALLY getting around to doing it.. that seems to be a trend of mine lately.  I wouldn't call it procrastination (at least not entirely!), but more so an overall lack of time and energy.  Shortly after my Aidan was born, I told the hubby that I wanted to start journaling.  I was finding that, despite my boys being less than 12 months apart, there were SO many things I already had forgotten about Owen when he was itty bitty (far from itty bitty these days!).  I realized that in the hustle and bustle of life my mind wasn't remembering the details that I wish it would!  At first I decided I wanted to start journaling.. ya know, by hand.. but, that quickly stopped when I realized how much my hand ached after writing a few pages!  So, considering I can type pretty quickly, and I have a slight infatuation with taking pictures of my kids, it all made sense to start a blog!  For now.

In the off chance that someone who doesn't know me reads this, I figured and introduction post might be worthy.. plus, it's always nice to put a face to a name :)

Here we are as a family! 

This picture is one of my absolute favorites.. it's the very first picture of all 4 of us (not counting when Aidan was still in my belly)!  As much as I love photography, it is a very rare occasion when I am dressed and presentable enough for a picture AND that there is someone to take the picture for us!  J and I took the boys pumpkin and apple picking and a kind lady offered to take this shot of us.. that would explain OJo's dirty look.. he's not pleasant with strangers.. I guess that's a good thing.. and, perhaps a personality trait he's acquired from his Momma.. meh, oh well.


My Owen.  Owen Joseph. OJo.  The term OJo came about by accident.. since we didn't want to call him OJ, we planned to just stick with Owen.. until Daddy accidentally called him OJo one night and it stuck! .He is my little character!  Full of personality.. stubborn as can be.. but, hilarious at the same time!  He makes me laugh, cry and on occasion scream.  And drink wine. 

Now my Aidan man!  Our biggest surprise!  When J and I said we wanted two babies relatively close together, neither of us expected 3 days shy of 12 months!! Just the other day we were talking about their age difference.. and, surprisingly enough, we both said we'd do it again in a heartbeat!  Especially since Aidan is such a wonderfully sweet baby!  Goddd, if I knew every baby would be like this, I'd be contacting TLC telling them we're the next "Duggar" family!

And, in the rare event I can grab my camera and snap a shot of the two of them together, our success rate is typically on the lower end!  For example, I've been trying for weeks to capture a picture of both boys smiling.. it has been a failed attempt.. one day, we'll get there :)

 

 Stick around for a wild ride!  It's never a dull day with these two boys =)