Letter to my babies!

I'm sure as anyone can imagine, life has been pretty busy here in our home.  3rd trimester + 2 devilish little boys on the go constantly = one tired Momma!  There's so much I wish I had blogged about in these past weeks, but alas, it has fallen down on the priority list and sleep won out.  So here I am blogging at 3am after waking to pee.. super pregnant.. 37w4d.. the morning of August 28th... stuffing my face with a chocolate entenmann's donut and a yogurt... staring down my final hours of being pregnant and wondering where the heck these last 9 months went!!

I remember when I was pregnant with Owen.  We had experienced a 1st trimester loss just a few months before we got pregnant with him.  Between that and the new high risk diagnosis I had received for, ya know, a plethora of reasons, my pregnancy was very much filled with worry and nerves.  When we made it all the way to 37w3d before delivering him, and I remember thinking shortly after how much I had wished I had "enjoyed" my pregnancy more, instead of being so nervous the entire time.  Easier said than done, when you have high risk doctors constantly filling your head with "what if" scenarios and being surprised to still see you pregnant!  When I got pregnant with Aidan, I vowed to try and be a lot more relaxed about all the high risk business.  I took comfort in knowing that we made it to over 37w without any preterm labor scares, and genuinely did try and relax and enjoy it.  But, it all went so fast!  I'm not sure why I thought my pregnancy with Amelia would be different, because it hasn't!! I've come to realize I'll never be able to get back that "first time Mom" pregnancy, where I can spend hours thinking about BEING pregnant, and feeling baby moving around, and taking cute maternity pictures.  Ha, instead, with Amelia, it's gone by SO lightening fast that so many days I'd forget I even was pregnant until I laid down in bed at night!

Night time is my favorite.  It's the only time these days that I truly have some "me" time, and I can just lay there and feel and appreciate her movements.  Pregnancy isn't for everyone.  Some people really do hate it.  I am not one of those people.  There is something so special and unique about the bond between a mother and child while in utero.  Knowing that it's just me and her.. that she responds to me and me only.. that my body is "growing" her/him.. it's an absolutely amazing and beautiful experience.  And, I have to say, of all 3 of my children, she has by far given me the easiest pregnancy as far as scares and even discomfort.  With both boys I was in SO much discomfort by the 37w mark that I was honestly glad that they were being delivered... now, over these past few days as I counted down the days to when I will get to hold her all I keep thinking is... I am not ready for it to be over!  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely can not wait to meet her and hold her on the outside.. snuggle her and see what she looks like.. start getting to know her personality... shower her with love and affection... but, I'm also sad it's over.

The past several weeks we've been battling blood pressure issues.  Up and down fluctuations, elevated protein levels in my pee, headaches and dizzy spells (which cause me to see spots, which I started out thinking were gnats until I realized I looked like a crazy person swatting the air at nothing...).  With my history of pre-eclampsia, and both boys ending up being emergency c/s due to the BP spikes, my OB decided this time let's schedule her delivery before it gets too out of hand.  So, here we are.  Scheduled OR time 2:30pm on August 28th.

I have to say, there are definitely pros and cons about *knowing* that we will be delivering her this afternoon.  It's been nice because I was able to make sure I have everything.. and I mean everything planned out for the boys while I'm gone.  We have who's coming over at what times and what food is in the house and what the plans are for dinner and who will be doing bathtime and bedtime and when Jason will come home each day to see them, etc all figured out.  But.... what I didn't anticipate is the 24 hours of INTENSE anxiety I've had leading up to leaving them.  I knew I'd feel anxious.. I did when I delivered Aidan and left Owen for the first time, too.. but, the difference was, I wasn't expecting to deliver Aidan.. so, we were told "head to the hospital, you'll likely be delivered soon".. I had a matter of an hour with Owen saying goodbye and prepping what he'd need in my absence... sure, I remember I cried when I left, but then I headed to the hospital and was consumed with the busy-ness of preparing to deliver, so I didn't really have time to fret over being away.  This time, our delivery was decided on Monday.  That's given me 3 days.  Day 1 and 2 I prepped everything for the boys.  Today, I've spent pretty much all day with an extreme amount of anxiety worrying about being away.

I know they will be taken excellent care of.  I truly do know that.  But, I also know I've never left my boys for more than a few short hours here and there.  One time I left them overnight for my Holiday work party last year.... but, aside from that Jas and I have only really left them a handful of times and almost always that was either right before they went to bed or after bed and just for a short period.  SO, relinquishing control and handing over 100% responsibility for my kiddos while I'm in the hospital for 4 days has not been something I've taken to lightly.  In an attempt to "lighten" my spirits, my Mom jokingly compared me to "bridezilla" except called me "momzilla" instead... in the moment, I didn't take to it nicely (and hung up on her in tears).. but, I understand what she means.  I like structure, and routine.. I like knowing what my kids are doing and when they're doing it.. when Jas works from home Mon and Wed I check in with him at least 3 times a day to see how the kids are being for the nanny.. when he's not here, I text the nanny at least once through the day to get an update.. I like and need that reassurance.  It's who I am.  Overprotective?  Maybe.  But it's 100% out of genuine love for my boys.. Having 2 babies back to back can be quite tricky.. especially with both of them on the move always in different directions.  When you're by yourself and trying to tend to their needs and make sure no one gets hurt while semi trying to keep one or both from having a major meltdown, it can be challenging.. even for me, and I do it 4+ days a week!!  So, I apologize to those who will be watching my boys... this Momma has an intense amount of anxiety about being away!!

I'm also much more nervous about the surgery than I thought I'd be.  My experiences with Owen and Aidan were quite different between the two.  Owen, I remember being so physically ill  while they were doing the surgery.. crying telling the anesthesiologist I was going to puke because I was so nauseous and they had to keep injecting me with *something* to keep me from puking, except, then I just kept falling asleep.  With Aidan, it was a little different.. they gave me anti-nausea meds before hand, so I didn't have that issue, but instead my BP kept spiking and plummeting which also resulted in me being in and out of consciousness.  I LOVE my OB.. she's absolutely awesome.. and I remember listening to her voice a LOT during my delivery with Aidan.. somehow while being busy cutting him out of me and suturing me all back up, she also was the one that kept talking me through to help me stay conscious at parts.. and I clearly remember her being the one calling to them the couple times I did pass out.. the scariest was when I passed out after Aidan was born and when I came back to consciousness him and Jason had already been moved to recovery.. so, all I remembered was waking up and not hearing Aidan crying and not seeing Jason anywhere.. it was a shear moment of panic thinking something was wrong.. again, my OB.. love her.. she quickly calmed me down... so, yea, there's that fear of the unknown.. not exactly sure what to expect.. I'd imagine my BP will probably be super unstable again since that's what's causing me to deliver, but to what degree it affects me during surgery, I just get to wait and find out...!  And then of course there's the fear and worry that Amelia comes out perfectly healthy... 37w4d.  She will be my "most baked baby", but still considered "pre-mature" because she's born before 39w.  Owen was a NICU baby, but Aidan wasn't.. so, all we can do is hope that she's born super strong and healthy and thrives right away!  We shall know in less than 12 hours!!!

And then, there's the anxiety that's brewing (though, minimal right now) thinking about how life is going to change.  How my boys are going to adjust.  How the dynamic between Jason and I will switch.  The first few weeks are always the toughest.  Finding a new routine.. everyone settling in.. Jason and I getting no sleep, etc.  Just like it was tough at first when we brought Aidan home, we aren't sugar coating our memories and expecting this to be any different.. except for maybe a step up in toughness since now there's 2 others at home!! But, I really do think we're ready for it.. and we have a good gameplan.  The boys are on great schedules, and hopefully dropping Amelia into the mix will only be a hiccup in their daily routines and the biggest adjustment will be getting her on board without messing them up!  Neither of my boys have any real idea what it means when I keep telling them that Amelia is coming.. for a half second a few months ago I thought Owen finally understood.. he would point to the bassinet in my room and say baby.. and then when Amelia's room was complete, he'd point to the crib and say baby.. but, I quickly realized he thinks it's for Aidan... because, whenever I'm in there with both of them, all he does is tell "baby" (Aidan) to get in the crib and do nite-nite.  SO, yea.  Not quite the understanding I had hoped for!!

In the end.. I go back to remembering how i felt when I had Aidan.  I felt anxious about leaving Owen.. I worried about how he'd adjust.. I worried he'd think I didn't love him as much, since my time would now be split between 2 babies.. I worried that I was doing him a disservice by having another and not being able to give him 100% 1-1 attention when I was home.  And, I remember journaling about this (before I blogged!!) how those fears were gone by the first week I was home... seeing how great he was with Aidan was just incredible.  And now, I can't imagine things ANY other way.  Those boys seriously love each other.  They look for one another.. they play together.. they snuggle together.. there is no doubt that when people told me I was giving Owen an amazing gift of a sibling that they were right.  And, I'm holding on to that for the addition of Amelia, too.  I know that despite the small challenges we'll face initially, it will be absolutely amazing to see their love for each other develop and grow in time.  Like a puzzle piece, she'll find her place in our family and complete us all the same.  I truly can't wait :)

So, now that it's after 4am, I really should try and head back to bed and enjoy the last night of uninterrupted sleep for, ya know, the next 3+ months! But, before I go.. I promised last time to share some pictures of Amelia's beautiful nursery, thanks to Amy Loftus!!  It turned out absolutely perfect!!  I splurged and had custom bedding designed by The Baby Guy out in California... they were absolutely amazing to work with and the final product could not be any more perfect!  I'd hands down do it again in a heartbeat!  And then my sister and her amazing talent free hand drew the design for the tree to match the fabric of the bedding... it's so elegant, yet whimsical.. just perfect for our little lady :)

So here I am.. signing off!  Wish us luck tomorrow as our family of 4 expands to a family of 5!  I think it's tough to find time to blog now....!  I'm sure it'll probably be several weeks before I find the time or energy to post again, but I promise I will return!  This blog will be invaluable to me when my kiddos are bigger... remembering all these little memories that can so easily slip your mind will be amazing to look back on one day :)

Boomers, Battle wounds, Birthdays and BUZZ!!!!!!!

The weeks are disappearing so fast these days!  My good intentions to blog more often are typically trumped by the temptation of a foot rub from my hubby and some extra sleep.. quite difficult to pass up either of those!  That certainly does not mean it hasn't been an entertaining month, though!

Let's start off with 4th of July!  I admit, I was the sucky Mom who didn't take my kid to see fireworks last year.. but, let's be real.. Owen was just under a year old and I was way pregnant with Aidan.. plus, BEDTIME.  Seriously.  I don't like to EVER throw off bedtime!  This year, I attempted to use the same excuses, but for some reason started to feel guilty.  I think mostly because it wasn't 5,000 degrees out this year, which made the idea of sitting outside a little more tolerable.  Anyway, we ventured.  Me, Jas, both boys and my parents and sister.  I 100% expected Aidan to have a complete meltdown, and was 50-50 on Owen's reaction.  But, to my surprise, both tolerated them well! 

Neither one of them would take their eye off the sky.. it was as if they were both making sure those fireworks stayed far away!  It turned out to be a really nice evening.. and, even more to my surprise, throwing them off of their bedtime routine wasn't nearly as god awful as it could have been! 

The following weekend was the boys' joint birthday party.  Because, again, I suck at life, I left a lot of the planning and cleaning and preparing to the last minute.  Procrastination or just plain lack of energy.. call it what you will!  So, Thursday before the party my Mom was coming over to help me get the house cleaned and set up.. except, it didn't exactly work out that way.  The morning started off great.. both kids were in excellent moods.. I did some laundry, we played and I even managed to steal a picture with both boys while I was feeling all sentimental and sappy about them turning 1 and 2.

I'd say about an hour later was when this happy morning turned into chaos.  Aidan was starting to get sleepy, but I wanted to hold off his nap until after my Mom had arrived, since I knew if I put him down beforehand the dog would likely go nuts and wake him up.  I should also mention how in the weeks since I last posted Aidan has taken up a rather unsteady form of walking!  Shortly after my Mom & Sister got here, Aidan took his first major stumble.  He was mad because I walked out of the room, went to walk after me, but the combination of his sleepyness and unsteady walk resulted in a head dive into a wooden stool I had in the corner of the playroom.  The thump was unmistakeable, followed by his shriek of pain.  I was prepared for a welt.. I was prepared for a black and blue mark.. a ginormous egg.. but, I didn't expect to run in, pick him up and see the amount of blood gushing from his head that I had seen!  It scared the crap out of me.  No joke.  In the moment, all I remember thinking was oh my god, so much blood.. Owen was crying "baby boo boo!!" in the background.. my Mom was yelling to call an ambulance (which, thankfully we ended up not needing to do that).. and every time I removed pressure from his head the blood was just squirting out!  What an awful experience :(   Thankfully, the worst of it was over in a matter of a few minutes, and then it was just keeping pressure on it and ice to reduce swelling while we waited to hear back from the ped as far as where to go.  I'm so glad my Mom was here.. once the panic part was over, I immediately flooded with guilt and cried apologizing for not catching him.. I know, these things happen.. but, it doesn't make it any easier.  She reminded me the more upset I got, the more it would scare Aidan (and Owen!), which was good to hear because it helped me keep my emotions in check!

We ended up taking him over to the ER.  We made the mistake of going to Kennedy, since it's closer, instead of driving the extra 20 minutes to Virtua.. I'll never do that again.  No pediatric emergency room.. the wait took FOREVER, considering I had a 1 year old who was still bleeding from his head!!  Plus, we're sitting there next to all these super sick people, and all I kept thinking is don't let his hands or feet touch ANYTHING in this hospital!!  Despite the nasty cut, no nap, and the fact that he was absolutely ravished because we hadn't fed him lunch, he was really, REALLY well behaved!

They ended up using Dermabond to glue it together as opposed to stitching.  The ER doc said this would leave less of a scar, and also be less traumatic (probably more for me, since we would have had to hold him down to give him a local so they could then stitch him otherwise!).  Needless to say, it was an eventful afternoon!  Not how I ever expected the day to go, but I'm thankful it wasn't any worse than it was!!! We luckily were still able to get things done when we got home.. albeit it took until 10pm, but it all worked out and the party still went on! 

The party was great.. only about half the invitees were able to come, which was a bummer, but also made it a little easier.. managing a party of 45 vs 90 is a lot easier when 8 months pregnant!  It was nice, too, because it allowed the party to be really kid focused, which was great!  We had a woman from Kids Music Round come and entertain, which all the kids enjoyed.  All in all, it was a successful day!

This little porker devoured the entire birthday cupcake that we had made for him!  You'd think he'd never eaten sweets before!! Last year, my Mom had baked Owen an entire cake of his own, anticipating he'd have gone to town on it.  Except, he barely would touch it, let alone taste it!! Owen was more upset about getting the icing on his hands and being messy.  So, when it came time for Aidan to get a smash cake, I was pretty much expecting the same.  Ha, he sure proved me wrong!  He took one taste of the frosting, and next thing I knew he dove in face first!  Thank goodness this is only a first birthday tradition ;-)

Ojo has had a major BUZZ obsession lately.  Everything is BUZZ.  Literally, from the time he wakes up until this kid goes to sleep he's talking about Buzz, asking to watch Buzz, pretending to be Buzz, etc.  The funny part is, he had no Toy Story toys, and we legit only had watched the movie twice before the obsession hit!  Now, he's asking to watch it ALL. THE. TIME.  Kid is clever, too.. he'll try and tempt me with a nap.. he'll say nite nite Mommy.. pull me into my room, and tell me to "lay".. and then ask me to put Buzz on.. he's sneaky ;-)  And, I'll admit to taking him up on that every once in a while!! There's no denying this Momma could use a few minutes of down time whenever she can get it!!  Anyway, the big winner gifts for his birthday were a little bath toy Buzz, the Buzz costume, a Buzz book and an elmo phone thing that came with another book, (which he calls his "Mo - fo".. for elmo phone).  Jas and I gave him our presents, which were a soft buzz doll for the crib and then the big buzz toy from Disney store.  Needless to say, we've enabled this obsession to continue to thrive!!  It is pretty adorable, though, seeing him play Buzz.. or watching him run circles around the room with his arms out making "whoosh" noises.  Little boy definitely has a very tight hold on my heart :)

Next post I'll update about Amelia!  And how close we are to meeting the little Miss!! 32 weeks today!

It's not all roses, that's for sure!

Thinking back to when I was pregnant with Owen, I can remember various conversations with colleagues of mine who were Mother's already.. most of these conversations centered around the aspects of parenting that aren't often addressed in the "What to expect" books.. I can remember them telling me horror stories about the newborn weeks, and preparing me for the dreadful pain that would come with breastfeeding.. the lack of personal space and PRIVACY that you're essentially giving up for the next 18+ years.. Between having several Mom friends through work, my Sister, who has my 2 handsome nephews, and a handful of friends that already had children, I thought I was pretty well prepared.  I thought I had a pretty good grasp that things weren't always going to be sunshine and rainbows.  However, there was one thing that no one really prepared me for... everyone talks about the highlights of being a Mother, and the amazing feelings that go along with it.. but no one really told me that as quickly as these little beings can make you feel on top of the world, they can also tear down your self confidence in mere moments.

I remember before I had Owen feeling so excited to bring this little human into the world.. this little person, who would look at me with all the trust and love he could muster up.. who would immediately love me back as much as I love him.  I never really thought about how it would make ME feel when instead of looking down at that tiny new face and getting a smile, you get a wailing, screaming baby.. or instead of rocking them and staring lovingly into their eyes, they squirm and kick and push to get out of your arms!  Those were definitely things that tested the limits of my self esteem early on, but those things I kind of anticipated..

What I didn't anticipate is the slap in the face that can also be referred to as "the Daddy phase".  Ya know, the phase where Momma is completely unnecessary and unacceptable for any and all tasks related to their needs if Daddy is home? I remember going through this same thing with Owen, and we're dead in the middle of it again with Aidan.    It's been about 5 months of this Daddy phase with Aidan.  I'm an "acceptable" choice when Daddy isn't home, but the second Daddy does arrive, suddenly I'm chopped liver.  The way this child will scream for his Daddy... man, oh man, you'd think I was ripping off his toe nails with tweezers or something.. it is a full on face-turning-purple, can't take a breath type of crying from the second he hears Daddy until Daddy picks him up.  And, if for some reason Daddy puts him down.. it starts all over.

I'd be lying if I said it doesn't plant a seed of doubt in my mind.. if it doesn''t make me question my abilities as a Mother.. if it doesn't take my self confidence from A-OK all the way down to zero in an instant!  This is the power of your child!!  While I know that taking this "personally" is the wrong thing to do (hello -- irrational 11 month old we're talking about!!), it's still hard to not feel saddened by this.  I keep reminding myself of these same exact feelings I had when Owen went through this.. ironically enough (or, maybe not ironic.. maybe it's just timing) it happened around the same time I was getting ready to have Aidan.. and now again, right when miss Amelia will be arriving soon.. 

I guess part of how I feel about it all is amplified by the fact that I know big changes are coming soon.. Daddy will be spending more time taking care of the boys once Amelia is here and I'll be spending the majority of my time with her trying to establish ourselves a routine.. I keep trying to get in some extra snuggle time with Aidan here and there, but it's almost exclusively met with tears and resistance.  Jas normally does bedtime with Aidan.. he has since he was a baby.. so I tried tonight to switch it up and me do bedtime, hoping maybe I'd get 5 minutes to just hold him and snuggle.. no such luck, he pushed and kicked and whined and cried the entire time.. he was actually happier to go in his crib!  Sigh, epic fail.  Of course, this feeds into my regrets about not being able to nurse him.. I felt the same with Owen, too.. that somehow if we had nursed maybe this phase wouldn't have been so brutal!  All the more pressure to get it right with Amelia ;-)

At the end of the day.. I keep trying to remind myself that it's just a phase.. phases don't last forever.. Owen is very much a Momma's boy now despite going through this same exact phase.. actually, I'd say he's a glorious mix between a Momma's boy and a Daddy's boy..! I know Aidan man will come around.. but in the mean time.. it's just a bumpy ride for this Momma :)

Oh the freedom!

Once upon a time I had 2 little babies.  Where did that time go?!  I know I say this in practically every post I write, but how the heck are my boys growing up so fast!!  It is absolutely amazing, though, to see how quickly their little minds can absorb and apply the things they learn.  We are especially seeing this in Aidan, since he has his big brother to watch all day long.  We used to think Owen was going to be our "tough cookie".. and, don't get me wrong, he can be!! But, Aidan man.. this kid is fearless!  And stubborn.  And, quite the brute!!

 It was literally a matter of weeks.. (and by weeks, I mean maybe 2 weeks) before this little bruiser discovered he could do more than just crawl around the floor.  Him + freedom = a very dangerous thing.  It was to our surprise the night we discovered him crawling up the steps!  I'm honestly not sure who was more terrified.. me, as this now means our family room is no longer a safe room.. and the days of me sitting comfortably on the floor watching him crawl around and play are history.. Owen, who's quickly realizing that his brother is becoming more and more capable by the day.. or, Chunk.. who often has this look like "Seriously.. another mobile thing that wants to suck on my face and spit in my fur??!".  Within the first few days of Aidan learning how to crawl up the steps, we also tried teaching him the "dangers" of falling down the steps.  He wasn't quite understanding that he can't go up 2 steps and then turn around without falling.. but, in the beginning, Jason or I would run over to catch him.  Finally, I said to Jason.. we need to let him do a "supervised" fall.. (the carpets are super padded, and it was only up 1 or 2 steps).. my hope was that he'd realize falling isn't a game, and he can't "play" on the steps.  Yea, that plan was a bust.  The first time Daddy did the "supervised" fall, Aidan thought it was hysterical.  And then did it again.  And again.  And again.  Each time, he'd laugh these huge belly laughs like it's the most fun game he's ever learned.  In one night it became his mission to RACE to the steps, climb up the first and/or second step and do a back roll off them.  Even when we weren't there to catch him.. still laughter.  Oh man, this kid!!!!  We are still working on the "steps aren't for playing!!!" rule.. but, yea, it's not working out so great..........

Speaking of rules.. Aidan pretty much doesn't think they apply to him.  Ever.  When OJo was a baby, we took the approach of "teaching" him the word NO.. and "teaching" him not to touch things he wasn't supposed to.  I didn't want to have to remove everything in my house out of his reach in fear of him breaking things or touching something he shouldn't.. instead, I wanted him to learn that some things don't belong to him and he's not allowed to touch.  He was stubborn.. we'd have to tell him a dozen or more times, and there have been a couple of times early on where he'd get his hand swatted (like, night lights and power cords), but he quickly learned after one or 2 times and that was it.  Overall, OJo may throw a hissy fit over the word no, but he 99% of the time will listen.  Even when he was only ~11 months!  He listened..!  Aidan.  Not so much.  This picture.. this cheeky little smile of his.. if you look closely, you'll see he was playing with the vacuum.. one of his favorite past times.. where Mommy must say, "Aidan don't touch" 3 million times and each time it goes ignored.  The cable box is another nightly battle.  We have Comcast, and for anyone that has the new X1 platform, it is very "computer" based (I hate it, but that's a different story).  So, when a small handed child crawls over and presses the glowing neon green button that controls the power, it's not as simple to turn it back on as just pressing it again.  It's like a computer, everything has to reboot.  And, when you have a toddler who was watching something the exact moment the baby has decided to shut the cable box off (again), it plays out something like this...

Mommy: "Aidan, I swear, DO NOT TOUCH the cable box!!"
Aidan:  mischievous smile.. raises his hand...
Mommy:  "Don't do it Aidan!!!!"
Aidan:  PRESS!
Mommy: "Gahhhhhhh!!!!"
Owen:  "Uh Oh, it's off... Mom, it's off.. Mommy!! It's off"
Mommy:  "I know Owen, I'm sorry.. it will be back in a minute"
Owen:  For the next 5 minutes while it reboots "Uh oh Mom, it's off... Mom, it's off.. It's off, Mom...Dad! Dad, it's off.. Uh oh.. it's off!!!"

For the love of all things, including my sanity!!, Aidan, PLEASE stop turning off the cable!! My patience cannot handle it!  I don't know what is harder.. the fact that Aidan does it over and over again despite us correcting him, or listening to OJo tell us OVER AND OVER again that the TV is off!!  Amelia.. sweet girl, you are lucky.. some nights I really, REALLY miss my wine ;-)

And then, there was the one day.. the one day when Daddy tried swatting his little hand to stop him from pressing the button... we expected tears.. I expected tears!! And then, I expected to yell at Daddy and tell him not to do that again.. except.. Aidan just looked at his hand like "huh, that stings a little".. looked up at Jason like "that didn't hurt!", and then shut the damn cable off!!!!  No fear, this kid!

In addition to fearless, he's also quite clever.. and, can be kind of rough!  Now that Aidan has the freedom to get wherever he wants, OJo often likes to correct him... errr, push him down?  Owen isn't too keen on the fact that Aidan can now come over and touch anything and everything Owen is playing with.  We're working hard on the need to share, and that it's OK if your brother comes over and touches the same toy you're playing with.. you guys can play together.. but, it hasn't really been a success yet.  The cozy coupe is one that has caused a LOT of issues in our house.  Owen likes to get in there and just.. sit.  Aidan will then come over and pull himself up on the side of the car.  Aidan is good, but not that good where he can stand unassisted without holding onto anything for any length of time.. so, Owen gets mad that Aidan is touching his car and will push him off.  Aidan falls down.  Owen proceeds to then RUN HIM OVER with the cozy coupe.  Aidan cries, I yell that's not nice, Owen cries, etc.  I know this is going to happen every. single. time. that Owen gets in the cozy coupe.. however, last week, I had to laugh.. After Owen knocked Aidan off, and then proceeded to run over him, Aidan got smart.. he was being run over anyway, so in the process, he grabbed hold of Owen's legs and pulled.. next thing I know, they are both crying because Aidan pulled Owen off the seat of the car and now they're both stuck underneath the cozy coupe!  Clever little boy.. ;-)  Betchya his brother will think twice about running him over next time!!

Owen's got quite a few new tricks of his own.. aside from pointing out when every and any electronic device is "off", he also likes to alert me of when there's a "mess"... It usually goes something like this.. Owen dumps all the toys out of the bins.. spreads them all over the room (with Aidan's help), and then when I come over he'll say "Heyyyyy... who made a mess??".  Good try, buddy.. I know it was you!!! Sigh, or my other favorite from last week.. evening tubby with them both together.. and, Aidan.. little devil boy.. once again surprised us with some tubby floaters mid-bath.  In the chaos that it ALWAYS is when your kid craps in the tub with his brother in there next to him, I'm scrambling to get them both out and Aidan diapered before any more comes.. and, OJo just stood, pointing in the tub.. "Mom.. there's a mess... mommy!!! Mess!!! There's a mess, Mom!"...... yes, OJo.. I am WELL aware of the floating crap in my tub.. I'm also well aware that I will once again be bleaching it.. and once again be washing all your bath toys.. and once again threatening your brother with indefinite outside tubbies using the hose if he doesn't stop this nonsense!! Sigh, but yes.. you're right, there's a mess!

Some days are tougher than others, but they definitely keep me laughing! And, busy!! I will say, when I was pregnant with Aidan, it was tiring, but honestly wasn't all that bad.  Jason is such a huge help with the kids (or just Owen at the time) that I really don't remember it being that exhausting.  This time, with 2 little ones.. it's a LOT harder physically than I expected!  Mostly because your days and nights are just non-stop.  The tiredness can be tough, but it's more that my body just gets sore.. I also think that's partly due to carrying differently this time (maybe a girl thing?).  But, a lot has to do with constantly being on the move.. picking things up, cleaning up something, carrying someone up or down the steps, chasing someone off the steps, putting someone in time out, oh, and then there's the human jungle gym factor.  If my OB wasn't so awesome and didn't know Jason and I as well as she does, she'd probably have thought I was getting beaten or something!  My poor belly always has bruises!! Little toes, man.. they mark me up!! Between my belly and my thighs, I'm a speckled bruised mess most days!  But, going on the exhaustion thing.. Owen has this fun game he likes to play every. single. night. regardless to how tired I/we are.. it's quite simple.  He grabs you by the hand and you RUN.  Laps around the room.  Over and over again.  Sometimes he'll stop and put some obstacles in the way.  Or, sometimes he'll stop and move obstacles.  But, the running part doesn't change.. and the whole time he'll yell "Yay!! Runny!!".  It's become our motivation to finish dinner.. our motivation to behave (i.e. Owen, if you can't be nice we will not run tonight), and overall the biggest highlight of his day.  I love that he loves to run around.. but holy crap!  And, if Aidan gets involved, which he almost always does, that just adds to the complexity!! He's either speed crawling following us, or clinging to our legs as we run by until one of us picks him up and carries him while we run.  And, in case the pictures aren't doing him justice.. he's a PORK.  I think there's only 3 or 4lbs difference between him and Owen...!

Some days I wonder how much our lives are going to change once miss Amelia comes.  I'm so elated to be having another baby.. so excited to be adding a daughter to our family.. but, there's a part of me that is a little sad knowing how our current routine will have to change.  As tiring and trying on our patience as the boys can be sometimes, they bring so much joy into our lives.. and, they really do make every day fun.  I'm sad because I know that the first few months with a new baby in the house means Mommy is MIA from playtime and "fun stuff".. Just like when we had Aidan.. it took a little while to get everyone into the swing of things.. it will be the same this time, I know.. but I'll miss getting to spend all this time with my boys!  The flip side is.. I'll be creating another new bond.. with a new beautiful and precious little life.. another little to drive me bonkers in, oh 6-9 months give or take ;-)  Days that I feel a bit sad about how they dynamics will change initially with my boys, I just think ahead to a year from now.. when Amelia is Aidan's age.. and Aidan is Owen's age and Owen is 3.. there will be oh so many fun times ahead.. so many smiles, and giggles, and pressing of buttons =)  I really couldn't be more excited to be growing our family!

May Flowers!

May is starting out pretty well; full of flowers, achievements, confirmations and more :)  Also, we've had a beautiful few weeks of spring weather.. 60's and 70's galore!  However, along with the good weather comes the down side to owning an acre of land.. yardwork!  My husband is a trooper and takes care of it all on his own with his little push mower.. bless him!!

Owen and I decided to watch Daddy cut the grass.  I figured I'd give him the broom so he could help out.. come on, it's never too early to put the boy to work!  He very much enjoyed dragging the broom around, but didn't quite understand that sweeping the middle of the yard wasn't very productive.  To each their own.  However, he was so kind as to bring me back a gift he found... in his precious little hands he carried me a wad of dog poop that must have been overlooked.  It was delightful, no doubt.  Thank goodness he brought it to me instead of playing with it.. from across the yard I thought for sure it was just a stick, since he's always fascinated with sticks!!! Sigh.. boys.  Unfortunately, I don't think he'll be deterred from doing this same thing in the future, as his love for washing hands greatly surpasses my plea to NOT touch things you find in the yard!!

We're also working on more words.. slowly but surely we're getting there.  Owen only speaks when it's meaningful for him.  The necessities, and necessities alone.  We've learned that saying please will almost always get you a cookie (or some other treat!).. so, despite not saying cookie, he will frequently point at the cabinet, and give you the most dashing smile and say "pwease".. impossible to resist.  I'm a sucker.  Some other key things we've learned.. move.. as in, "brother, you're in my way, now MOVE".  He also has been smiling for me whenever he sees my camera and shouts "CHEESE"..!  It's adorably cute, yet I have no idea where he learned that from!  I don't ever recall telling him to say cheese for pictures, yet somehow he picked it up!  It's amazing what their minds absorb, even in short exposure!  Makes me worried, sometimes, what else he's picking up ;-)  I'll take the cheesy smile over the normal battle of tears I get when I'm trying to snap a shot.  We still haven't mastered taking pictures of them together.. dear God I don't think I'll ever get a decent shot once baby #3 is here!!

The other night Owen was in such a loving mood.. I kept trying to get him to say "I love you Momma" to me.. I know he can.. there's no reason why he can't, he just chooses not to.  So, I figured my best shot was to try and coax it out of him while he was super snuggly and loving to begin with.  Epic fail.  After several attempts, including me fake crying and whimpering, I thought I was going to get it.. he came over, put his little boy hands gently on my cheeks.. looked me dead in the eye and said "No, Momma".  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!  Almost 2 years I've been waiting, kid!!! Just give up already and say you love me!!!

Aidan man has accomplished a TON in the past few weeks!  We have been waiting and waiting for him to finally figure out the key to becoming mobile and THANK GOODNESS it's happened!  One day out of nowhere he just flipped on his belly and started to crawl.. from there it's become non-stop!  And, crawling was only scratching the surface!  This kid will pull up on anything and everything; zero exceptions!  Jason caught him climbing Owen's play kitchen last week, and yesterday he was climbing up the steps.  He has no fear, this kid.. a few weeks ago he barely had the stability to support his chubby self, and now he's letting go and taking steps in all kinds of directions!  It's incredible to see the satisfaction it brings him to finally be mobile..!

As for our confirmation... I had my follow up scan yesterday and I can 100% say without a doubt that little Miss is indeed a she!  Instead of being shy, she allowed us to get several clear views.  The idea of having a little girl is starting to sink in.. so much so that I even went out and bought some PINK things!  Still seems so crazy! I don't even tend to look at the girly things when I'm shopping; I'm so used to my boys!  What an awesome experience this will be to have a daughter :)  Only downside.. I'm not one for style/fashion, so learning how to dress my daughter in all these adorable baby girl clothes will definitely be a learning curve for me!!  We've also settled on a name.. before we knew if Owen was a boy or girl, our name choice for a girl was Sophia.. as much as I love that name, I really do like names that are a bit less common.. I remember growing up having several friends with the same name and it was confusing!  With Sophia the First cartoon, the name has become increasingly more popular.. it's been the top of the charts for the past few years now.  For that reason, we went back to the drawing board and together came up with Amelia Quinn.  I love Amelia.. I think it's feminine and classic.. a bit old fashioned, but timeless.. I really do love this so much!  I find myself writing her name often just because it's so pretty to write!

That's it for now!  This weekend is Mother's day.. I'm spending some extra quality time with my boys, but was also granted a "free pass" to go out shopping for a few hours by myself today!  The boys need some new summer things, and of course Amelia will require a wardrobe!  I'm heading to a hobby lobby for the first time ever in an attempt to buy some materials I'll need to make some homemade hair bows!  When Daddy isn't looking, I'll get my Aidan man to model them ;-)

Surprise!!!!!

So, let's talk anatomy scan!  First, and most importantly, baby looked fabulous and perfectly healthy!  Hooray!!  Secondly.......!

Holy $h!z!!!

Did you process that?

It's a girl! 

WOW.  So.  Yea.  Let's just say I still haven't been able to process this!!

Okay, let me back up a little bit.  I'm sure (if anyone is actually reading this), you're probably rolling your eyes saying "team green, yea right".. I really, really wanted to be team green.  I truly did.  Of course there were natural things I worried about.. like, waiting to put together a nursery and painting/choosing a theme for the room, and of course the off chance (hah, off chance!) that it'd be a girl finding time to get clothes, etc.  But, what really got me thinking was actually the exact same reason why I wanted to be team green.. I'll explain.

So many Moms I know that have been team green have raved about the amazing experience in the delivery room where their significant other got to tell them the sex of their baby.  I wanted that surprise so much.  I really did.  I wanted Jason to be the one to say "here's our baby..x".. Jason and I had this conversation several times in the weeks leading up to our scan.. what I worried about was this.. I will be a repeat c/section regardless.  I don't have a choice.  2 precious c/sections and only 14 months in between deliveries here.   That's fine, and I'm okay with that.  The thing is, my experiences with c/section with Owen and Aidan were quite different.  Owen was emergency c/s.. it all happened really quickly, and I do remember being kind of sick during the procedure, but I was still awake/alert enough to remember it.  I remember seeing him after he was born, they brought him to me, I got to kiss him, someone took a picture, etc.. but, with Aidan, it was very different.  I kept experiencing blood pressure drops which would make me feel like I was passing out, so there are a lot of things I don't remember.  I don't remember him being born, or hearing him cry.. I don't actually remember getting to kiss him or see him (actually, I'm pretty sure I didn't).. I was in and out of alertness.. I remember when I sort of woke up Jason and Aidan had already gone to recovery.. I remember that so clearly because I had this tremendous fear shoot through me.. where is my baby..!  But, the nurses quickly said he was perfectly fine and him and Jas were in recovery waiting for me... all I kept thinking about is what happens if this time around turned out more like my experience with Aidan.. and then I "miss" Jason getting to be the one to tell me.. or, what if it was similar to Owen, and if (god forbid) baby has to go to the NICU?  Then I could potentially miss the birth and then miss getting to see her in the first moments..

So, after a lot of anxiety and stress over whether or not to stay team green.. Jason pointed out one very true fact.. is the possible surprise worth 4+ more months of stress and worry?  He was right.. it wasn't.  It was better that we made the decision to just find out together... that way we were able to share that moment!!

SO.. there we are.. in the ultrasound room.. tech taking all her measurements.. I was SO sure it was a boy.. seriously, I would have bet all my savings on that!  I just.. KNEW it!  And then she said.. it's a girl!! Holy crap!  LOL.  I legit was in shock.. we had her check 5 different ways.. because, seriously, I couldn't believe it!! Jason kept saying he knew it was going to be a girl when they were doing the measurements and she was measuring right on track.. and, her head size was normal LOL.  Both my boys always measured 2+ weeks ahead and their heads were ginormous!  I admit, when she was doing the measurments, I had a small flicker inside that thought, "well, that's different from my boys".. but I seriously was not prepared for her to say girl!!

I am so very excited at the thought of welcoming a daughter!  I have always had a very close relationship with my Mom, and I've dreamed of having that one day with my own daughter.  While I'm beyond in love with my boys.. it will be such a special thing to have a daughter now, too! 

I'm still processing though... if I'm totally honest here, I'd be lying if I said I don't still have my doubts!! I just.. I don't know!! It doesn't feel right!  Maybe because I'm just so used to "boys".. I just keep thinking that this has got to be wrong!!! The tech seemed pretty confident.. but, she also kept saying the baby had her legs crossed, so it was hard to get a really good view.. (initially, this is what she said.. and she said she was 90% sure, but we'd take a closer look.. and then proceeded to check 5 different angles lol).. I don't know!!!

I have a sub-optimal re-scan in 2 weeks.. she was all crunched up in a ball and they couldn't get good pictures of her spine, so I have to go back in 2 weeks to try again.. I'll be sure to ask them to re-check.. again, and again, and maybe once more ;-)

Wow.. a baby girl!! Now to start thinking about names!!! And clothes! OMG, have you seen baby girl clothes?!  Insanely adorable.  Oh man.. for my bank accounts sake, I should hope they're wrong! 

April Fun!

With Spring officially here, and in full swing OJo could not be more delighted with our time spent outdoors!  This kid absolutely loves to be outside.  Despite being 21 months, Owen's vocabulary is still pretty scarce; however, outside is a word that he has mastered without a doubt.  This boy will stand at the window, or the door, or in his crib and say "outside" repeatedly for literally hours on end.  I love that he loves the outdoors!  So now that the cat is out of the bag about me being pregnant, again, it goes without saying that this Momma is often very tired!  April has been a pretty crazy busy month, so I'll hit you with a ton of pictures to catch up.  My Dad's birthday was April 2nd, and we celebrated by having the family over to our house.  My nephews and Owen thought it was absolutely awesome to explore in our backyard.  They must have climbed fallen trees and played with sticks and leaves for over an hour!  It's amazing how much Owen idolizes them.  In addition to his brother being his best friend, he also has 2 amazing buddies as cousins.  It will be so neat to see Aidan joining in on the fun next year!

We also had a warm stretch where we had 3 days in the high 70s.. a taste of summer, if you will.  It was great to get the chance to fill the baby pool and splash around with the boys.  This was Aidan's first time in the pool.. it was a moderate success.  He very much enjoys the water, but I think the temperature threw him off a bit.  Needless to say, they had a fabulous time playing outside.  Nothing more precious than a nakey baby wrapped in a towel drinking his bottle in the sunshine.  It was such a great end of the week, and I am so looking forward to many more Thursdays & Fridays like this over the summer!  I really love my part time schedule!! Having these extra days home with the boys is so amazing.. I honestly have no clue how I'll ever go back to full time!!!

And, with every outdoor excursion, we must conclude the evening with a tubby.  How could anyone resist these cute faces?!  I know I can't!!

Moving along to Easter...

I have to say.. this picture kind of surprised me.  Likely not for the reasons you'd expect.. I assumed Owen would cry.. I mean, come on.. a giant rabbit?  I think I'd be more worried if he didn't cry!! But, what surprised me was Aidan's nonchalant reaction!  Let's just say Aidan is going through this crazy separation anxiety phase.. maybe crazy is a bad word.. EXTREME.  This boy will not go to anyone!!! Owen was always pretty good about going to different people.. Aunts, Grandparents, friends, etc.. he would give dirty looks, and not often smile, but he went without a fight.  Aidan.  Nope.  He doesn't even like it if someone gets too close to his personal space!  This boy is a trip!  He's so funny, too, because when it's both Jason adn I around, I am CHOPPED LIVER.  This kid will scream like you've never heard if Daddy is nearby but not holding him.. seriously, my neighbors probably think we beat our children LOL.  (Andrea, if you're reading this -- I swear we don't!! I promise!!).  So yea, given the major separation anxiety, I fully expected him to be the one screaming, too!  Oh, and, disregard the Winter sweaters.  The weather is so temperamental these days, and I suck and didn't buy them cutesy matching Easter outfits.  Meh, there's always next year!

Easter day itself was pretty low key.  Nothing too fancy.. dinner at my sister in law's house.. which was very yummy!  I actually found the energy to make twice baked potatoes, which were quite delish, too!  Thank goodness for 2nd trimester return of energy!  First tri was rough with exhaustion!!  The Easter bunny struggled with what to bring the boys.. I was pretty adamant on not filling their baskets with candy, so instead got some other goodies.  We did put 3 M&Ms in each egg as incentive for Owen to find the handful of ones we hid.. that was a big success, surprisingly!  Thanks to my Mom for gently encouraging (aka guilting me!!) me to do baskets and an egg hunt.  I personally am not a huge fan of Easter, so I was quite tempted to skip it, and not really do much.. figuring, Owen won't remember anyway.. but, I'm actually glad my Mom did get me to do it as he really did enjoy himself!

 Getting pictures with my boys these days is quite rare.. especially one where neither are crying.. albeit, neither are smiling here, either, but beggars can't be choosers!  I love these little dudes so very much!!

Easter dinner caused Aidan to miss his afternoon nap, so he wasn't a very happy camper.. but, Owen had a blast playing outside with his new bubble gun!  It's the little things in life that can make a kid so very happy!  The bubble gun was pretty crappy, though.. I guess that's what you can expect for a $15 toy.  Oh well.  He still enjoyed it.. on the rare occasion it actually shot out some bubbles! 

Happy Easter all!! PS.. 5 days until my anatomy scan!! Still holding strong for team green :)

A change in description :)

Munchkin mania: Capturing the adventures of raising 2 boys under 2.  Whelp, in a few more months, this will no longer be the case!  We will be graduating to capturing the adventures of 3 under 3!! Jason and I could not be more excited to make this announcement! My boys, however.. that was a different story!  Notice the picture.. thank goodness for photo shop.  No one wanted to smile.  Owen has puffy eyes from crying so much.. you'd think I was torturing him to get a picture!  In the end, I had to bribe him with a couple of snacks, but I eventually was able to get a suitable shot of them both and merge it into one! 

So.  3 babies under 3.  I'd assume baby #3 will likely join us in late August, as both my boys were born at 37weeks.  With that being said, that would give us a 25mo old, a 13mo old and a newborn!  Life sure will become quite busy, and entertaining, but at the same time absolutely blessed and full of joy!

I was actually really nervous to "announce" this on Facebook.. but, surprisingly I got only positive responses!  Not everyone understands having babies close together.  And, a lot of times people don't quite know how to respond to it.  This is a huge pet peeve of mine.. but I digress.  But, I will say, our announcement was well received and we were given lots of congratulations and best wishes, which is fantastic!

A lot of people did assume that baby #3 was also a surprise, but, actually, he/she was very much planned!   Funny side story.. once we decided we were going to try for #3, I invested in buying a batch of Wondfo pregnancy tests through amazon.  I admit, I can be a little POAS crazy.  I like to test as soon as the 2 week window ends, and continue testing until I know for sure it's a no!  So, 50 Wondfo's seemed appropriate :)  Anyway, month 2 of trying, and wham!  I got a positive.  New years day, actually.  (Actually, another side note.. I had gotten positives sooner, but had tossed them in the trash before allowing them to sit long enough!  Note to any other Wondfo users.. WAIT the allotted time before checking!  I assumed they'd be like FRERs and the line would show up almost immediately.. nope!).  Anyway, so I got a positive, YAY!  For some random reason (probably because I couldn't believe how quickly it happened!), I was googling the accuracy information of Wondfos, and I stumbled across a few comments about the batch I was using having false positives.  Instantly, my heart sank thinking I may have gotten my hopes up for nothing.. so, what does any hormonal early pregnant woman do?? I made my husband POAS =)  5 minutes later, he comes back to check asking "So, what's the verdict.. am I pregnant?"... Thankfully, he was not, and I immediately felt better!  He's such a trooper.. how many men do you know that would pee on a stick to appease their wives?? Just another reason why I love him so!

Anyway, back to our decision to go for 3U3.. After I had Owen and returned back to work full time things were tough.  I was very unhappy.  Perhaps a combination of post partum hormones going crazy (and, shortly after pregnancy hormones!!), but regardless.. it was really hard.  There were several car rides spent sitting in traffic crying.. instead of spending time with my son, I was stuck in a car for 3+ hours a day.  Sure, we could move if we wanted to.. but I love our home.. we picked this house as a place to start our family.. a place to settle down.. a job may not be forever, but a place to lay your roots could possibly be.. anyway, the 9 months I worked in between having Owen and having Aidan were really, really difficult.  After lots of conversations, we had agreed that if I wasn't able to switch to part time at work, I would step back from my career for a while, and focus on our family.  It was best for me and my mental health, and for our boys.

Part time being approved was like a blessing.. it allowed me to have the best of both worlds.. it still allows me to have the best of both worlds.  Financially, I don't feel like dead weight to my husband.. intellectually I'm still get the stimulation I need.. and as a mother, I'm home with my boys 4 days a week to nurture and love them the way that I want.  It has been SUCH a dramatic difference this time around than it was the first time.  For that reason.. we decided to do our 3rd now.  I have no idea how long part time will last.. but, what I do know is that this setup is absolutely glorious!

Plus.. there are other added bonuses to having your babies close in age.. bonuses I didn't really realize until I had Owen and Aidan.  Everyone talks about how kids close in age will be "best friends".. and, perhaps that may not be true for all siblings, but for my boys the bond they have established so far is amazing.  Aidan lights up the second Owen is in the room; he giggles and laughs and babbles at him!  Owen spends 1/4 of his day hugging and kissing on his brother.  They both absolutely adore one another.  I really think that because Owen was just a year when Aidan was born, he was too young to understand the concept of jealousy.  So bringing a new baby home wasn't much of a change for him.  It was just someone else to love and play with, which has been incredible!  I truly do hope for the same reaction when we bring #3 home!!

As for #3.. hubby and I have decided that we will not be finding out the baby's gender!  So many people have raved about how amazing being "team green" is, and I really think that we would enjoy that surprise.  There are so few surprises in life that are joyful and amazing regardless of the turnout, but this certainly is one of them.  But, if I had to take a guess.. I feel pretty confident that this baby is a boy.  I don't know why, I just.. feel it!  Which I think is why the idea of team green this time is so appealing to me.. I feel like inside I already know, and I know that I have everything I could possibly need already, so why not wait and see?  Of course, then there's the flip side.. what if I'm wrong?? But, like I keep telling hubby.. what do you *really* need in those first few weeks if it were to turn out to be a girl?? Nothing really.. we could make it work. 

We shall see!! Our anatomy is the end of the month... for now, healthy baby is all we're hoping for :)  Hooray for baby #3!!! A wild ride for sure, but GOSH we sure are so excited!!

Aidan Man: My sneaky little trickster

It is March.  And, with that, you'd expect warmer temperatures.. which, we've seen.. but, we've also still had SNOW.  For the love of all that is good, PLEASE stop snowing already!  I'm so over crazy expensive propane bills, shoveling snow and babies with cold extremities!! Let there be warmth.. soon!  Also, side note, have you noticed how much my kids have grown?  Seriously.. who are these babies!! Owen recently had a big boy haircut.  I love it, and hate it at the same time.  He looks like a little boy.  Not a baby.  Insane the way these kids grow!!!  Aidan is doing new things every day.. his interest in everything quadruples from day to day.. he's not the little baby that's content snuggling in your arms and staring back into my eyes anymore.. this boy has a mission!!! More on that to come...

Life has been busy lately.  Aidan man.. my little trickster ;-)  Jason and I often discuss the way this darling little devil has deceived his parents!  Ha, I kid.. but not really.  Aidan was SUCH a pleasant newborn.  Really, he was happy the majority of the time.. was content with just being held and loved and cuddled.  He didn't really demand too much from anyone.. just a little bit of attention and this boy was happy as a clam.  And then around 6 months things started to shift..! 

There are SO many pros to having babies close together.. I really could talk about how much I love the closeness in their age for hours.. how happy we both are that we had them so close (even if it wasn't fully intended!).. it truly is a spectacular thing to see the bond that they're developing already.  But, today I will admit to one of the most difficult aspects of having 2 so close in age... Aidan wants to GO.  He sees Owen on the move.. he sees Owen running around, playing with his toys, in and out of the room, etc.  When he was younger, that wasn't really a big deal, but now that Aidan has reached an age where he's truly taken interest in his surroundings, this has become a very difficult situation.  Aidan wants that same freedom, except, he hasn't figured out a way to be mobile.. so, instead, he wants me, or Daddy, or whomever is with him to help transport him to wherever Owen is. 

The frustration in this poor boy's eyes kills me!  He gets so upset that he can't figure out how to get places on his own and almost always turns into a screaming fit.  In time, sweet boy.. you will get there!  We encourage by putting him on his belly, but it's short lived.. he hates his belly as much if not more than he hates his inability to move.  But, refusing to be on your belly makes it quite difficult to learn how to crawl!  He is getting better and better at standing, but unlike Owen, his legs aren't quite as strong.. he quickly gets wobbly and then his little legs give out.  Owen loved his jumperoo as a baby, which gave him super strong legs.  Aidan is not the type to enjoy the jumperoo.. he'd much rather you hold him and help him walk around, or help support him while he explores things.  He's so different than Owen in many ways; it's pretty crazy to see how drastically different their personalities can be despite such a close age gap!  Needless to say, this desire to move, but inability to actually do so has made things quite difficult for this Momma to get anything done!

I don't ever like to wish time away.. especially after seeing how fast my Owen has grown, but seriously.. I'm ready for the next stage!  Crawl, kid!! We want our happy baby back!  Everyone has told me "You'll regret that.. having 2 on the move will be so hard", but honestly, in this case.. Aidan having the ability to move around would make things much easier!  (I should probably knock on wood now, right?).. Jason and I joke all the time about how Owen gave us a run for our money right up front.. but, then got easier with age.. Aidan sweet talked us in the beginning.. all smiles and coos, but quickly showed us a different side of him!! We still get that sweet little boy on occasion, it's just accompanied with a lot more tears of frustration these days!!  This, too shall pass :)

Plus, I think some of Owen's stubbornness is beginning to rub off.  Both my boys adore food (I'm sure that's pretty obvious).  They rarely skip a meal.  Meal time is INSANE here.  Neither have patience to wait for food.. the second they enter the kitchen the shrieking begins.  I think sitting down together as a family for meals is such an important concept to instill in your children, but I'd be lying if I said it's enjoyable at this time.. we'll get there, but right now it's usually a mad dash to feed both kids, and hopefully get some food in our own mouths!

Over time, Owen has improved greatly with his ability to wait for his plate (most days), but has also discovered his independence in making food decisions.  He likes the word no.  A lot.  When I was growing up. one of the things my Mom always said was "this is what's for dinner.. eat it; this isn't a restaurant".  Man do I have a whole new appreciation for this!! We've recently battled dinnertime with Owen (or lunch, or breakfast) because he chooses not to like what he's been served.  Things that I KNOW he likes.  So much so that he will fake GAG at the table.  A few nights ago, I tried to call his bluff.. and told him he had to eat dinner, or he was going to bed.  Every time he'd put a mouthful in, he'd act like he was gagging.  Until he decided to puke at the table.  Over mashed potatoes!! Seriously, this kid loves mashed potatoes.. but, in this instance, his stubbornness won over, and dinner for everyone was ruined. 

In the moment, I was about to lose my mind.. all I kept thinking was "did this kid seriously just puke because he didn't want to eat?!?!"... but, afterwards.. I recalled an article I read a while back when Owen was an infant.. I wish I remembered the source to link it, but alas, I don't.. anyway, the gist of the article was talking about how parents get so frustrated with toddlers and their desire to exercise free will, but yet almost every parent will tell you that they want their child to grow up into strong, independent adults.. The latter cannot happen if you squash the former!  Oh how true that is.  So, our approach from now on is this.. 3 chances to eat your dinner.. if you continue to make gag noises and fight and cry, then you're done.. but nothing else until the next meal time.. Jas and I are hoping his love for food will overtake his stubbornness :)

Looking forward to those spring flowers... and a new chapter of our lives to begin in the coming months!  Stick around =)  And, in case you wanted a sneak peak of what's to come... here's a little picture of something Owen has been working on perfecting...

Coming out of hibernation!

I am so over the Winter.  SO over it.  I'm done with snow, and ridiculous propane bills and waking up with a stuffy nose every morning from the heater running!  I'm ready to throw open the windows (which also will mean cleaning my windows -- compliments of living in the woods).. let the breeze come in, take the kids for walks, play outside, etc!  I'm ready for hiking, and beach trips.. days at the zoo and splashing around outside!  And, my poor car needs a bath SO bad!!

I'm glad I have virtually no followers on this blog yet, as I know how much of a bummer it is when you're used to reading a blog every week or so and then they just go MIA for a while.  It's tough to motivate when everything just seem so.. blah!  Plus, we've been busy.. we're hiring a nanny, which has been extremely stressful and time consuming.  But, we've finally found the right fit for us, so that's a huge burden lifted!  Not to mention work has been busy.. I always thought 3 days a week would be a dream.. and, it IS a dream!! But, I find myself getting frustrated with the lack of progress I feel like I'm making these days.. it's hard to accomplish as much when you're only there 3 days!! It's to be expected, but just an adjustment for me.. I'm used to being more of an "overachiever" and lately I feel like I'm falling behind.  It'll all work out, though. 

So, while the ground has been frozen and often snow covered and I've been hibernating in my house wishing the weeks and months of Winter away, my boys have continued GROWING!  Look at this!!

Owen..!  What the heck, little man!! You have become.. well, a little MAN!! You don't even look like a baby anymore :(  We've been waiting and waiting, and FINALLY, your speech is starting to explode.. talking and babbling up a storm.. some we can understand, most we can't.. but, one thing is clear, you love going outside!! And, you will shout "I go outside!!!!!!!" whenever the opportunity strikes you :)  Seeing you put words and phrases together is just another indicator of the independence you're finding..!  You are still stubborn as ever.. your tantrums are hysterical!! One of these days I'm going to video one so you can see as an adult!! It takes all my might not to laugh!  I know your feelings are valid, though rarely rational, but still valid.. it just can be so difficult to keep a straight face when you are just SO angry over the littlest things!  Your Daddy reminds me just how alike you and I are..!  Tantrums, dirty looks, moodiness, etc :)

And Aidan!  My baby.  My little tiny squish!  Remember when you were first born?? All 6lbs13oz of you?? You were skinny!!! You were so thin!!! And now, you're catching up to your brother quicker than I could imagine you would!! Just today I put a 12 month outfit on you!  You are 7 months!! Not 12!  You're teething, and that stinks.. it makes my genuinely happy baby a mess of tears and crankiness.. but this too shall pass.  You are eager to move.. you watch your brother with such inquisitiveness!  You want to do what he's doing.. be where he is.. you want to GO!  Not so fast, little boy.. there is no rush in growing up!  Before I know it you'll be crawling.. and then walking.. and then running.  I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm looking forward to your ability to "get around" on your own.. but, I will also miss the snuggles.. the ability to rock you in my arms.. already, you're over it.. you'd rather see what's going on in the world as opposed to be content staring just at me.. it's amazing how quickly you've grown!

And the two of them together.. gosh!  They can give you a run for your money, but they also have captured my heart in so many ways!  Aidan adores Owen so much.. and Owen adores him right back!  The giggles and laughter that pours out of Aidan while watching Ojo run around.. it's so sweet!  Yesterday, I was working with Aidan teaching him to roll several times in a row to get where he wants to be.. everytime he'd roll, Owen and I would clap.. so then Owen was trying to help him roll over, too.. his attempt at rolling Aidan from back to belly was hysterical as it was accompanied with the loudest GRUNT noise I've ever heard Owen make.. and this kid grunts all the time!! It was so funny!  And he just had this look on his face like "this kid is fat!!"  Cracks me up!

Today, we're kicking off our first Saturday showing a glimpse of Spring (ie temps will be in the low 50's!) by taking the boys to Cape May Zoo!  Hoping for a successful trip!